I (20M) work in a factory, and it’s probably what I’ll be doing for the rest of my life. I barely made it through high school I’ve never been smart, and no matter how hard I try, I just don’t believe I have what it takes to move up in life. Even if I tried to study, get a better job, or make more money, I know I’d fail. I’m just not cut out for more than this.
And yet somehow, I have this amazing girlfriend (19F ). She’s smart, driven, caring she wants to actually be something in life, and I have no doubt she’ll get there. She deserves the world. But I can’t give her that. I’m not successful, I’m not good-looking, I’m not special in any way. I feel like I’m dragging her down just by being in her life.
Lately I’ve even been thinking about getting a second job to try and give her more. But if I do that, she’ll never see me and even then, I still know it won’t be enough. She deserves more than just someone working themselves to the bone and still coming up short.
That’s why I’m thinking of leaving not because I want to, but because I love her. I don’t want to be the reason she doesn’t reach her full potential. She might hate me for it, but maybe walking away is the only real way I can do right by her.
Do you think I would be making the right thing? It might hurt her but I think in the long run she would be better off without me..
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The fact that you care this much about her future shows you are not dragging her down, you are exactly the kind of person who lifts others up.
You are not a burden, you are a partner. Love is not about money or status, it’s about effort, heart, and the way you make someone feel.
Working hard in a factory is nothing to be ashamed of. That’s dedication, not failure. She chose you for who you are, not your resume.
No it wouldn’t be the right thing wtf. Do you think your girlfriend cannot think for herself…? Do you think you know better than her what she wants in life? If she wants someone else she’s free to break up.
You’re too young to decide that this is all you’ll ever be. Your brain isn’t even done developing my guy. Good looks fade, money isn’t everything. I’m sure you have some wonderful qualities, there’s something that your GF likes. Maybe you’re nice or creative or a good partner or you’re great at fixing things or a good cook etc. etc. Stop beating yourself up for the things you are not and start appreciating the things that you are.
And even if it feels crazy that a girl like her would stay with a guy like you .. at least appreciate that gift that life has given you instead of throwing it out. If you found a million dollars on the street would you toss it out because you got it by luck?? No. Ofc not. So why would you ruin this for no reason?
She picked you for a reason, right?
What you have to know is that love isn’t only about providing. She loves you.
Not what you provide, she loves you as a person.
You’re doing enough, i’m sure she acknowledges that you are trying and doing your best.
She’s a lucky girl to have you. I have a friend, she’s very bright, very successful and earns a lot. Her husband of nearly 20 years is a carpenter, he’s not particularly bright, but he’s a really good decent man who loves his family. They have a life together that most people would die for because they both care for each other in a deep wonderful way.
If you and your girl can be like that, you have nothing to be afraid of and can have great life together. Don’t take that opportunity away from her.
You don’t need to be exceptional to support her. If she has a potential for great things, and you don’t, then take care of mundane things and let her focus on her objectives.
If you think she’s that much better than you you can trust her judgement about her partner more than your judgement about her partner.
Its clear after reading your other posts that you dont love yourself, start taking care of yourself and grow up. If you cant love yourself, you cant love somebody else.
You are taking your job way too hard on yourself. Theres way more to being a man than just making money. Be there to fix things. Be there to help her. Be the one who checks on things that go bump in the night. Take it from someone who works with lazy geniuses everyday, working yourself to the bone is a skill.
I feel you, first and foremost. Let her make the decision. Whatever you can do, give it your all. I would advise experimenting a lot; if you do something consistently, it will eventually stick. You’re still very young, and it will take some time for regular guys like us to settle into this world. You will feel capable of providing for a spouse and a family one day. Take it from a fellow M30