My boyfriend and I have been having sex for around 2 years now and we both have a pretty high sex drive. But, I’ve only ever came one time and it was due to myself. I am never opposed to having sex (given that I have a pretty high sex drive) and I always enjoy it, but sometimes I wonder if it’s my fault I never come. It’s not like he rushes sex and comes in 2 minutes, but I feel like nothings given for me in the end. He has given me head before, but the longest ever for about 3 minutes- is that normally enough time? Yet when I give him head i will do it as long as I need to. He only ever gives me head before we have sex and I’ve told him before he’s doing everything right and I think it’s my fault I can’t come (which is true).
He’ll touch me sometimes during sex, but only for a bit and would rather me do it myself because he says it’s hot for him to watch while we have sex. However the other day I was touching myself during sex and he asked me if I could stop because it wasn’t going as deep even though I told him I was close. I know girls have come from only penetration before and it’s not like sex doesn’t feel good, I just feel like when we are “done” I’m still not finished.
Is this common?
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Your bf is a selfish lover. You are young. Find someone who cares about your pleasure as much as his own.
Sounds like he’s not paying attention to your needs. It’s amazing that you can keep the drive with someone who expects you only to get off by penatration. And no, going down on you for 3 mins is way too short
He doesn’t love you.
It’s very common for penetration not to get you off, and he should want to help you get there, not ask you to stop touching yourself because it’s interfering with his pleasure! Tell him you want to get off as many times as he does. Then both of you figure out how to make that happen.
Many women do not have consistent (or ever) orgasm with PIV sex because it doesn’t stimulate our source of orgasm—the clitoris.
Using a toy or your own hands during PIV usually does the trick.
He sounds like a selfish lover. He really should be making sure you come before he does via whatever method.
And don’t feel like you need to have sex you don’t want to have or for longer than you want to have. If you want to give him head to completion, fine. But if you don’t, don’t. And same for him. Maybe 3 min is all he wants to do and that’s fine. But then he needs to do something else.
he’s an asshole
He needs to finish what he started
So, I experienced this quite a lot with other partners. It really boils down to not establishing expectations. Tell him that you would like to finish before he does. Get yourself a magic wand & prioritize yourself before him, girl.
If he doesn’t want to put in the effort to make you feel good too, you gotta DIY.
The other option is find a partner that actually likes women LMFAO
A woman comes much more often when she is on top because she can control the movements and pressure on her clitoral area. He is a selfish lover.
Darlin’ sex is not just the act of penetration and getting off. Sex should be linked closely to intimacy, and intimacy is something that takes a long time to develop and maintain. You might want to start researching intimacy and sharing as well as foreplay…… Good Luck!
Welcome to the world of men, sweetheart!!!
Sounds like he’s only concerned about his own finish. You’re young, it will get better. But not with him without a conversation about him needing to spend more time learning your body and dedicating himself to your pleasure to. Me and my partner are 27 and 29 and been together almost 2 years. He’s the first I’ve had that ever truly spent the time on me. Oral started taking about 20 mins but it’s down to 5 if he wants now he knows what works for me. Then usually have a couple more during sex, with the help of a bullet (most of us can’t finish from penetration alone) and that works best for me. But he’d spend all night doing it if it was necessary because he enjoys me having fun and enjoys me being weak the rest of the night lol. Give him a chance after a conversation to learn but if he’s not willing to put in the miles then another lover will ❤️
He asked you to stop touching yourself? Boy doesn’t understand what sex is about. Yes he’s a selfish lover and if you don’t let him know he’ll be that way until someone does
You both should do foreplay minimum 30 minutes before starting main course. Lip kiss, neck kiss, tummy kiss, boobs suck etc will give you ultimate pleasure.
As my Mom said when sis had a lazy lover. “Well, you’ve got to be satisfied.”
Talk to him about it. Say you’re not going to stick in a relationship where your needs are never met. If he isn’t open to exploring what gets you there, find a new guy.
My bf prioritises my pleasure over his. When he goes down on me, he only stops when i finished (often several times) or because I told him to.
It’s not your “fault” you can’t finish, most women need more time than men in general. Plus our orgasms are more complex. There’s women who come easily from penetration only, but most women don’t (this is science btw, you can google it).
Normally I’d say – talk to your partner, about what you like and need – but this guy doesn’t seem interested in your fun at all, especially since you told him you were close but he didn’t want your to continue. That’s not fair and eventually shows he doesn’t care about it.
Sex is about both party listening and caring for each other’s needs. He needs to learn what makes you finish. Be it him using toys, foreplay, certain touches. HE. NEEDS. TO. LEARN.
Cause you deserve that just as he should as well. If he’s not willing to learn your body and give you that finish, find someone that would love to. You’ll see just how much better the bedroom activity can be.
The real question is why are you with him exactly?
Grow up and do better, because you deserve better.
I did not finish with a man until I was almost 30. MANY of them do not care if you finish, especially at your age.
Your boyfriend sucks at sex.
I’ve never had an issue making my partners reach an orgasm, except for 1 lady. No matter what we did, or how long we did it, she never came. To make matters worse, she wasn’t very good expressing it. She would say things like “I don’t know if it ever came” or “don’t know what it feels like”. She was in her late 30s and been married previously for many years. It was pretty frustrating. She eventually was diagnosed with endometriosis.
Rub your clit or use a vibrator while you have sex, he should also be willing to do more work, but honestly it’s exhausting having to do ALL the work, all the thrusting, all the rubbing etc.
A vibrator can be a game changer as it makes it easier for him to stimulate your clit or for you to do it yourself
Talk to your boyfriend because he’s neglecting your needs
Make the experience more enjoyable for yourself by using toys or your fingers during sex
Be on top so you have some control and can do what feels good for you
You are way too young to be wasting your time with a selfish partner. Tell him he needs to start prioritizing your pleasure too. You know you can finish. So you are not the problem. The problem is when you are close he tells you to stop. That’s someone who doesn’t care about your pleasure. After the conversation if this doesn’t change you leave.