TLDR: my bf ghosted me for a day instead of talking out the real issue because he did not have the energy to fight. it all started with me messing up something little(I will highlight that below) and he didnt forgive me and ghosted me. after that, I got hurt and didnt talk to him for a day and now its been 2 days me(20) and him(22) havent talked properly.
we are in long distance so we mostly call or text. last to last night I fell asleep while talking to him over text with my phone unlocked and open by my side. I live with my family and my parents are strict. they would kill me (well not exactly but you get my point) if they know I have a bf or even that I was busy doing something unproductive late at night when I should be sleeping and studying for my exams only. so this was some context.
***—–part where I messed up—– what happened was that I closed my eyes and dozed off for 20 minutes. meanwhile he was texting me non stop trying to see where I went away and why is it still showing ‘seen’. suddenly I woke up and replied him back clueless that it was almost half an hr of sleep. after seeing his messages I realised how much time had passed and he started inquiring me about what happened and all. pretty soon he figured out I slept and he just said bye and left the chat. I kind of knew where this anger was coming from.
earlier also once or twice this type of thing has happened and he was shit scared that my phone was unlocked and I slept and there was a possibility of my parents finding out about us and our relationship could have ended. luckily that has not happened but he gets very anxious on his side which I completely understand.****
now back to present situation. so he left the chat and I also sadly said sorry and bye because I was sleepy only and I knew he is upset and now wont talk anymore. my last message “sorry and bye” was on delivered for almost 20 hours whole next day.
the whole day. whole 20 hours I was anxious. the morning after that night’s incident, I texted him apologising and telling what all I will do to make sure something like that never happens again and he wont be triggered like that ever. every 4 hours I texted and checked up on him. but he did not even see any of my messages. by evening I started to worry about him like damn seriously. he was also pretty tensed and depressed because of some things in his life. and few days back he also asked me how much time would it take for me to move on if he dies hypothetically. and I didnt answer. i cannot even think of him dying. it pains me to even think about it hypothetically thats how much I feel for him. so by the evening I started having worst thoughts like what if some tragedy has happened to him or in his family and he is grieving thats why he has not replied to me or checked my message. at last at night I texted him saying if he would not reply I will myself message his cousin or his friend to check up on him.
then suddenly he came online after 20 hours and just said ‘I do not want to talk to you rn. sorry. bye” I was devastated already thinking he was gone forever or suffering and the last interaction we had was something in which I made him mad. and now he was not even telling me if he was not talking because of something I did or something happened to him or anything else imp. I just wanted to know the reason and I would have given him all the space he needed but I was still kept anxious. I had trust in him that he would not deliberately ignore me for a whole fucking day. never have we ever done that.
after he didnt come online again after sending that one message, I decided to text his friend to call him and check up on his condition. if everything is okay with him. I didnt choose to text his cousin as if the matter was not serious it would have been a hassle involving his family. through his friend I got to know he is okay and he will talk to me. I thanked his friend and got relieved to know atleast he is all okay.
but the relief was short lived. and after sometime my guy comes texting me saying “by whose permission you texted my friend when I had already replied to you”. I was like “it was not even a proper reply and I was just anxious about you and your condition thats why I texted your friend not because I wanted to insult myself or him or our relationship.” but he was not in the mood to talk things out. he started saying things like “you feel you are only the one in the relationship who cares about the other person?sure okay.”
and I also kind of ended up getting provoked and mad at him for deliberately ignoring my messages which I kept sending throughout the whole day and he only replied when I threatened to text his family member or friend if he wont reply. and when he comes online also, he just wants to argue that why I texted his friend. when I was scared about losing him forever and shit.
he was like ” next time if I am dying or not there is no need to text anyone else other than me” thats when it hurt me truly 🙁 (his cousin knows my presence and she has seen me through one of the edits he made for me on my birthday and I have talked to his friends some time back so I was not a random person to them) I ended up saying “yeah okay I am not texting anyone no matter what happens to you now. but dont be shocked now if I start behaving like you🥲 bye” and he texted me saying “yeah thats all I can expect from you” and I didnt see his message since last night. didnt text whole yesterday. cz genuinely I am heart broken that even for my small mistakes he punishes me so bad and then does not even acknowledge that I suffered because of his ignorance🫠 yeah I agree that he might have also suffered last to last night but that was unintentional and only for 20-30 minutes🥲 but what about my 24 hours? nothing? 🥲 Idk what will happen by writing here. maybe I am just relieving my pain by letting it out 😔