So last night we were just cuddling and talking and he had asked if I was still talking to a few friends of mine. I told him I talked to a few of them sometimes but not too much. He proceeds to ask if I still talk to an old guy friend of mine that i’ve been friends with for a very long time, I said yes but not too much (which is true, I don’t really talk to him much.) He then asked me when the last time I talked to him was. This is where I kinda froze and didn’t really know how he would react so I just said I didn’t remember. He looks up at me and gives me a look and just says “I caught you in a lie”. I kinda just looked at him without saying anything because I knew I was in the wrong but I didn’t know what to say. I did in fact respond to said guy friend this morning but nothing more and nothing less. I don’t really know why I didn’t just say I responded to him this morning and it’s really eating me alive. I feel very guilty about it and apologized this morning but he didn’t take it very well and said I’m only sorry because I got caught. I feel sorry because I didn’t just say the truth and I feel really dumb about it. l’ve never lied about anything else and never will but he won’t talk to me much, won’t touch me, and just outright seems like he wants nothing to do with me now. š We have been together for 2 years and I donāt want it to end over something so stupid.
Is there something I should do to help the situation or should I just leave him alone for now?
TL;DR: I told a small lie about the last time I texted a guy friend and my boyfriend is very upset and doesn’t trust me now.
Comments
Does he usually have a problem with you talking to your friends?
Umm
How did he know you talked to this guy this morning?
If you feel the need to hide/lie about harmless interactions with friends from your bf, you should examine why. Interacting and having a friendship with a guy is not some inherent betrayal to your bf.
If your guy is playing games to ‘catch you in a lie’ you should both see if your relationship is mature enough to get past highschool antics. That sounds like some really childish toxic stuff.
If you’re flirting and hitting up other guys I’m these messages, you should also examine why.
Your boyfriend sounds paranoid and possibly controlling. You probably lied because he was putting so much unnecessary pressure on you to report every detail about your friendships.
This is stupid. Like he’s being stupid. You’re allowed to have friends. His toxic insecurity and controlling behavior is the real problem here
Are you cheating? Do you have any feelings for this guy?
If the answer is No, you had no reason to feel guilty or hide it, from your end. So, what was it that caused you to feel the need to hide it?
Have you been burned by past controlling boyfriends? Is your current boyfriend controlling?
My instinct is that your boyfriend is controlling and you’re in denial about the need to leave him. But that’s just me.
Understandable you froze up, even when people are innocent they can still seem guilty under pressure especially when heās looking for things to mistrust
From this maybe subconciously you feel like talking to the old guy friend is wrong/betraying him so your first instinct was to hide it and he saw that and took that as proof of his suspicions
Even if you do get back on track, this will most likely happen again. Just be aware itās a common manipulation tactic to keep you feeling as though you owe him/need to make up for your misdeeds, usually bolstered and justfied by him having trust issues from a horrible ex or st similar
Good luck
Why is this even a topic of conversation? What’s wrong with you talking to a platonic guy friend you’ve had for ages? The fact that he had to ask and that your initial instinct was to lie tells me there’s something going on here that you’re sweeping under the rug. Is this the first time he’s behaved this way? Do you feel free to enjoy your social life, have your own support circle and foster your friendships within this relationship?
This is toxic and your bf is controlling. It isnāt okay to isolate you from your friends (esp when there is not romantic history), pester you about who you talk to, or look through your phone. I know youāre young, but this is a red flag indicative of much worse down the road.