I (21F) and my boyfriend(24M) have been together for about 1.5yr. Things have gone pretty good so far but lately it feels like we’ve hit a big roadblock.
So for backstory, we met about 5 years ago and age gap was too much so we didn’t reconnect until recently. He moved in basically right away and so we never really had a friendship period. Anyways, we had some issues regarding the bedroom life and I explained that I have experienced some hardship around sex and I guess i hadn’t realized how much it affected me until now. I said no a lot. I promised to work on it.
But we’ve hit that block again. I expressed how I need help. i have a constant ToDo list in my brain and said if he helped with chores without my asking or doing me a favor or even just doing something nice because he wants to would help. As well as me explaining how I really need to have other non sexual intimate things, like cudding, make outs, etc. I’ve come to a point where I feel like i’m not getting that because everytime he kisses me or anything it always has to lead to sex. Everytime I say no, he gets down and I get overwhelmed with guilt….I just feel a little used and under appreciated. I just don’t know where to turn from here as we live with my dad at the moment and are at a standstill with life.
TLDR; I need help on how to resolve my guilt in the bedroom. Boyfriend and I have been together for 1.5yr and things have been great so far. I have some sexual hardship that I didnt realize caused so much turbulence in my life until this relationship.
I’ve always been guilt tripped into sex by other boys, but lately I’m feeling the same. I feel like I can’t say no to the deed because of our agreement to work on helping each other (i work on saying yes more and he works on meeting my other needs so that our intimate time can work). I still feel like I’m missing the other non sexual physical needs from him and feel like every kiss or touch has to lead to something more. I just feel like I’m not appreciated in the way I hoped for.