i love my boyfriend, he is very caring and kind, but we are very different and it’s hard feeling like i do all the work in the relationship.
i have expressed to him how important communication and seeing each other fairly often is to me. i would like to see him 2-3 times a week and when we are not WITH each other, i want to text here and there just to check in and chat during the day – because it makes me feel excited, warm and happy. is that too much to ask for??? it is literally the only thing i ask for in this relationship.
he is an introvert and needs his alone time, and i have done everything in my power to adapt to that. i have talked with him about it, made sure that he gets all the alone time he needs and i have read books about attachment styles to better understand his and my own needs. and i would to this again and again for the rest of my life without a doubt, if i felt like he made the same effort. but, i feel as though my needs are not met with the same kind of attention and respect. i often feel lonely and unwanted. and ashamed
we never argue and i know that he loves me but i can’t help but get sad and upset about this. ieither he doesn’t understand what i mean when i’ve explained it to him (i don’t believe this because he is an intelligent person) or he just doesn’t care or love me enough to make an effort.
How do i make him realize how much this affects me?
TL;DR : I feel as though my boyfriend doesn’t make an effort to text me or see me, even though he knows how much it means to me. how to make him realize? i really want this relationship to last!
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I’m going through the exact same thing right now, I’ve currently been biting my tongue and taking a step back from making extreme efforts to see each other. I’ve been observing his intentions and efforts, it’s sort of worked?
The best thing is communicate and say what’s on your mind “I feel as though there isn’t a reciprocated amount of attention in our relationship sometimes, I know you love and care for me but I need to be shown/see it.”
If you’ve already talked to him and explained your needs, and he’s still not doing what you need then it’s time to end it. He understands but he doesn’t care enough to change or meet you half way.