I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months and I have noticed changes from my boyfriend since we started dating. Let me explain our love story and how it went wrong from my perspective. He was the one that asked me out on a date and asked for my number during work. We ended up going on a date together and seemed to have chemistry together. We held hands and agreed that we’re partners after our date. He would call me, text me everyday, come to talk to me at work, and always invite me to his place or invite me to events this year. I would try to answer his calls when I’m not busy (and if I’m busy I would text him what I was doing and apologize). I would always text back to him whenever I’m able to. I would go to him when he’s working as well depending what he’s doing that day. And always be happy to go to his place to hangout. It was like this for 2 months until the 3rd month came in. He stopped calling me and he would text late to me or leave me on delivered and read on text. In person he would play video games with his friends which I don’t mind but he did it in a way I really don’t like. When I drive 12 miles to his place to hangout and time before going to work he would check his discord and asks them if they wanna play a game while I’m there. We used to play games together and watch anime together or have our moment. But recently it’s been getting lesser than that. He’s been more focused on his friends first than it is to me. I would give my time and gas to go to his place to hangout with him. I know I sound like a bitch but it does bother me because it feels like they’re uninterested in me. Now when I text anything at all he would just leave me on read and might answer hours later. I tried to make connection with him like calling him but when I do he’s just talking with his friends and when I try to talk to him he gives me blunt responses while when he talks to his friends he’s communicative. At work when I’m working he doesn’t approach me but I do to him and I would have to get his attention for me to talk and have a good time together. When we walk he used to walk with me but now he just walks in front of me and leave me if I don’t catch up. Recently he used to have a picture of us on his wallpaper and now it has a half naked anime girl on it and I felt uncomfortable knowing that. He would hangout with me when nobody wants to play with him or is too tired to do anything. I would always try to plan dates every week for us if we don’t have somewhere to go then we stay at his place. When we come to our date location he’s always late cuz he was playing with his friends and lost track of time. When we talk he doesn’t ask questions or pursue other than short talk. I’ve been pretty depressed on how this is all been going I feel like I’m just an option for him I’m planning on talking about it after our trip to Santa Cruiz. If talking doesn’t make him change then I’m breaking up. I told him that I’m tired of love he would tell me to not give up and say I love you but doesn’t really prove his statement at all. It hurts to deal with right now and it’s making me depressed. I want to break up but I’m willing to talk about it before breaking up. It’s the least I can do. I’m not sure if I’m doing it right? But I would be happy to hear other perspectives from you guys. Also thank you for reading if you reached it this far.
Comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please message the mods
This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Talk first and give him the grace period of 3 months to see consistency! it sounds like you’re in love.
From your story I don’t think there is a relationship to break up from tbh… So just go live your life and be happy
[deleted]
Sounds like you know the answer to your question here. If your putting the time and effort to keep the relationship going, and there is no give and take, then it’s not really a serious relationship for him.
If you want to give ultimatums then I’d say that your depressed and tired of being the person putting in the effort, and if he wants a relationship then he’s going to have to step up. If he wants to just play video games and not do anything else then that’s also fine, but you won’t be there to be dragged along.
However it sounds like your past giving him a chance, and that it might be better for your sanity to explain to him that you needed more out of the relationship, and as he’s not putting an effort in then your ending it. It sounds like anymore time in this situation will leave you even more depressed and defeated…hope it all works out
It sounds like you’re carrying a lot, and while it’s understandable to feel overlooked when someone is more connected to their friends than to you, taking a step back to have an honest conversation about what you both want from the relationship could help clarify things, remember, your feelings matter just as much as his, and sometimes people need to be reminded of that. You deserve someone who makes you feel valued and prioritized, so don’t lose hope in finding that.