Two years ago, I (21F) studied abroad for a semester and lived in the same apartment as Rob (22M, fake name). We were part of a friend group of 8 people. Rob and I got really close since we were the only ones from the same country, and we hung out everyday. From the beginning, I had a crush on him. I even asked him if he wanted to “go on a date and do things from our home country” the first night we hung out. We clicked right away and talked about everything.
There was also another girl in our group, Lizzie, who clearly liked him too. Rob was the only one who didn’t seem to notice. Lizzie would often try to get his attention, and our other friends commented on the tension between us. I never told Rob how I felt because was scared to risk our friendship, and I also kept joking that he wasn’t my type (even though I obviously liked him).
I assumed I had no chance because Lizzie was more his type. On her birthday, she kissed him. The next day, Rob and I went on a trip together, and he confessed that they had kissed. I think he sensed I was upset since he asked if I was gonna respond to him. Things were a bit awkward, and then the program ended. But we stayed in touch. I’m the only one he talks to regularly from that group, although I don’t know if that’s because he values me or because I keep putting in the effort.
Even though it’s been a long time, my feelings for him are still really strong. I think about all the little ways he showed up for me and how close we were. Back then, there were moments that made me think he might have liked me too. But I also know he’s not the kind of person to hang onto feelings without regular contact, he is really practical. Up until recently, we only talk every few weeks, so even if he ever had feelings, I doubt they’d still be there now.
Since then, I haven’t liked anyone the way I liked Rob. I even ended up crushing on a guy who is basically him reincarnated (my study abroad friends + I agree). I think about Rob constantly especially when I drink. So much so that I end up calling or texting him, and he doesn’t seem to mind much since he always entertains me. We don’t talk everyday anymore, just every few weeks, but I still have very strong feelings.
Soon he’s moving closer to where I live, and we’ve started talking more again. It’s making me wonder: should I finally tell him how I feel? Or should I let it go, maybe even distance myself from him to help me move on?
I don’t want to sabotage the friendship, but I also feel like I’m stuck in this emotional limbo. Any advice is appreciated.
TL;DR: I (21F) studied abroad 2 years ago and became close friends with Rob (22M). I had a crush on him but never said anything. We’ve stayed in touch, and I still have strong feelings for him. He’s moving closer and we’ve been talking more. Should I confess my feelings, or let it go and move on?