I ‘21M’ and my gf ‘21F’ have had a rough week (3 year relationship). A few months ago in March we had broken up (for one week) and she had slept with someone else, which is fine because we weren’t together however I only found out about it yesterday after asking her many times in the past if anything happened between them two. I believe I deserve to know what happened if anything as we have been planning to get married before I go to the Army.
After finding this out though it was a huge shocker that she did do that with somebody else for the one week that we were broken up reason for breaking up was because i felt as though she wasn’t giving me enough sex at the time. She had told me that she wants to work things out with me and she will tell me everything in the future and not lie again, and she will give me the time that I need to get over it. (she has lied about the smallest things up until now where she has started to tell the truth)
In the past we had discussed her weed smoking habits and mine and we had agreed to stop smoking and made it one of our boundaries to not cross. We have other boundaries like not going to parties without each other, not canceling out plans for other people or adding people to our plans unless we both agree, not lying ect. However today I came over to her house to stay the night and instantly something was off. She didn’t seem all too excited to see me there was no hug or kiss as a greeting just a simple hi. Then after we drove to McDonalds and I got myself food and she got mad at me for not asking her if she wants anything to eat, as she told me she hasn’t eaten a large meal in 3 days (she does not work and lives with her mom).
So after arguing for a little her grandma sent her some money and I took her to get some Chinese that she wanted and she paid for. We got home and somewhere about 20 min after she ate I started to touch on her, she got the hint but shut me down by saying that her stomach hurts because its her first meal in 3 days. Well that got me kind of mad because she doesn’t owe me sex however it just seems like a load of bs and not something that is actually true. 10 minutes later her mom calls her and she gets up perfectly fine. She comes back crying because her aunt has unfortunately passed away and i let her cry for a while before saying that her stomach was just hurting. (Not a great decision on my end ik but I did it) She told me to get out and go home because she needed space and I told her that I want to stay and spend the night as we had planned. We argued for a little and then she told me I can stay but she is going to smoke weed because she is stressed out about her aunt passing and me asking questions about the situationship she had.
That made me mad because it was one of those boundaries we had agreed not to cross and so I left. A few hours after coming home I ask her why she smoked and she said because she thought that I was never going to forgive her for lying to me because I still bring up questions, even though I just found out yesterday after 3 months of us being back together. (She said she almost told me plenty of times but she was scared that I wouldn’t take her back, which is very selfish) Well we ended up calling and I asked if I can come over tomorrow and spend the night she said yes. She told me though that on Sunday she wants to go to her cousins house to watch a tv show in the morning since they haven’t done that in a long time and they need to catch up on the episodes.
She told me I can come with her but idk how to feel about that I told her I want to spend some of that second day together like how we normally do but she insisted that she already made this plan. It seems like she is being honest now but she just doesn’t care about our boundaries, showing affection, or spending one on one time. I texted her at 10p.m and now its 10:45p.m and she still hasn’t responded so she is probably ignoring me as she never goes to sleep before 1a.m. We only see each other for 2 days and 1 night a week because she lives 40 minutes away. I want to be with her but I think at this point she just doesn’t care about us. What is the best way to go about this?
TL;DR I (21M) and GF (21F) have been arguing yesterday and today. Her aunt has passed away and she has come forth about sleeping with someone else for the one week we were broken up after hiding it for 3 months. She has started to be honest however is openly breaking boundaries and doesn’t seem to care about us.
Comments
She’s a walking red flag with more to come. Don’t cling to a mistake just because you spent a long time making it. Millions of other girls out there that look just like her without the hassle and better commitment.
She’s a walking red flag with more to come. Don’t cling to a mistake just because you spent a long time making it. Millions of other girls out there that look just like her without the hassle and better commitment.