Before I get into the matter of the title, I’d like to give some backstory. From the night me and my ex told eachother our feelings, until we broke up about 7 months later, I was plagued with a constant feeling of nausea in my stomach that made it harder to eat and to just want to do anything besides be lazy. IIRC it seemed to pretty much stop when we finally broke up for the last time, thankfully. Interestingly though it did return when I spoke to her for just one night, after which I blocked her and it went away just as quickly.
Onto my new problem. I’ve had a fairly intimate FWB situation with one of my friend’s housemates since maybe February or March. People often assume we’re a couple but I am very reluctant to enter a relationship as I don’t want to be tied down or be responsible for someone besides myself. It’s been fine so far, but the other night she told me about a New Years party where she made out with a couple of guys and had the opportunity to sleep with one of them. Since that night, the same nauseous feeling from my earlier relationship has arrived and I’m scared to death that it’s here to stay. It could be a good guess that it is due to jealousy, but I’ve heard a little about her being involved with guys before and while I felt jealous, I didn’t maintain any nausea. Also, it wasn’t about jealousy in my last relationship either.
Basically, does anyone have any experience with something like this, any guesses on what could be causing it, or any ways I can try to get rid of it? Feel free to ask more questions!
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2 things – is it possible that you are developing feelings for her?
And do you see a therapist? Because that would help you process your feelings of nausea since it seems to be related to relationships.
I’m confused at what you’re asking because that nauseous feeling you describe seem to be coming from two different scenarios.
You didn’t mention what happened with your ex.
Your FWB isn’t your girlfriend either.
You claim it’s not jealousy.
I’m not sure what you’re asking. We don’t know what is causing it because of the general lack of details and us, well, not knowing you.
Personally it might be better for you to ask someone who knows you or see a doctor.
It could be jealousy, it could be anxiety, but there’s not enough info here for us to help you pinpoint why you feel this way.
Break ups, obviously, impact emotionally. That likely explains your feelings of nausea, etc. And – as long as it is not debilitating (preventing you from undertaking normal activities of daily living), it’ll just take time to get beyond that.
As to why it is reoccurring with this FWB type situation – I guess, it’s either because you’ve not got over your break up, or you’re just not suited to a FWB situation. And I do suspect it is the latter – given that you imply that maybe you’re beginning to invest emotionally…
I know that you know this, but a FWB comes with zero strings attached. She can fuck around with whoever she wants. And I get that doesn’t sit easily with everyone. Which is fine. It just means that a FWB relationship, ain’t for you.
In which case, have a conversation and see if she is open to more. If not, move on – because it isn’t going to get easier.
It’s all in your mind I feel..
How’s your self-esteem? Have you ever tried to unpack why you don’t want to be responsible for anyone else? Or why you see relationships as being responsible for someone?