This is long, I apologize. I have been with my boyfriend for two years. We were set up by our mutual friend after I was pining for him for like 4 months. He’s from the US and I am not. So we’ve done long distance while in college over summers, but I graduated and am starting really difficult upper education (I’m trying my best to remain anonymous bear with me).
Usually, when the summer starts and I have to fly home, I get all sappy and I wanna spend time with my friends and boyfriend. This last time tho, I only wanted to spend time with my friends. I felt guilty, but I really just did not want to spend time with him. Every time I dedicated time to him, it’s felt like a chore that just HAD to be done. He even flew down to my home country and I felt so guilty because I just would’ve rather been with friends or my family.
I’m also a very sexual person. I like doing the deed and flirting and all that. But I just do not want to with him. Which is wild because in the past I would jump his bones the moment we were alone. Now, I would have sex with him and I legitimately would zone out because I didn’t want to. He did not force me. I started it cause I am in fact a horny mf. But when it actually happened I just didn’t want to. And that’s not his fault but like come one dude. He is very sweet and he tries his best but like…..
And he also had this inability to flirt. Like I’m a girl. Not just any girl either, I am your girlfriend! Flirt with me!!! Why won’t you flirt with me!?!?
There was also an incident where he smoked a tiny bit of weed and explained to me how he thought a friend of mine was soo cool and sooo pretty. When I told him I didn’t like that he cried in my bedroom and basically ruined my night because he just got into my bed and I had to check in on him because he wouldn’t talk to me.
Also. Spanish is my first language. I talk to my whole family in Spanish and it’s very important to me that my partner speaks Spanish. I’ve been in shorter relationships and I still voiced and expected that. He speaks absolutely NO SPANISH. But he somehow thinks he can? And I’ve been asking him for two years now to sign up for classes or something. Anyone who actually speaks more than one language knows Duolingo is ass and I’ve told him that but that’s all he did for two years. He recently signed up for classes but it was only because I nagged him for like two weeks to do it. This adds to the guilt part, because he is doing it but it’s taken him basically 2 years to get on it.
He is also just so complacent with his life. He hates living at home, but he won’t move out. He doesn’t like that his mom demands him to do chores and crap but he still won’t move out. He doesn’t like his commute to work because it’s too long BUT HE WONT MOVE OUT. It’s not even a money thing, he makes plenty enough to have a one bedroom but nope. He would rather just stay there to “save money”. Which makes no sense to me because he was talking about getting an apartment but just didn’t go through with it.
All this but he is genuinely so sweet. He cares so much. And he loves his family. And I know he loves me. For Christ’s sake he bought me a new tire when it exploded on the side of the road. He flies down regularly to see me and my family. And he is now taking classes but like. I don’t know. Like I love him but I can’t tell if I love him because he’s a good friend or because he’s my boyfriend. We’re gonna continue being long distance for at-least 4-6 years and i legitimately don’t know if i should stay or not.
TL;DR
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and he’s gotten too comfortable to the point that I feel like the backbone of it. We’re doing long distance and I have been feeling myself getting distant. Like I’m not really upset by it but I feel so much guilt. Help.