Okay so me (22m) and my partner (23f) have been dating for 4 years. We recently got engaged earlier this year after some pretty bad shit happened and she was there for me after everything however I am facing a bit of an issue.
Before this relationship, I dated another girl for 2 years before in a long distance relationship. We were long distance but saw eachother for 1 week every month. We eventually broke up because of different friend groups, areas and just changes overall but it was perfect until the final month.
I was a mess and my current partner helped me through a lot which makes me feel really guilty about the way things are now. My partner and I are having some tough times recently and she is a girl who has always been shy. Whilst she used to be open with me, she used to be shy towards others. Now she’s more expressive with other people such as family but a bit more shy towards me. When theres an issue, there is no communication whatsover and she just looks at me without saying a word (I hate silence) and the conversations we have on text or when we come home from work everyday are the exact same and pretty repetitive.
Today, I was out at work doing a public stall and encountered someone and had a good chat with them. I realised that I haven’t had a proper conversation like that for a while and I was gutted when they had to go because It was refreshing for me. On the way back from work – in the car I thought about my ex girlfriend as sometimes I do and I have to say things were perfect back then and it was like a fairytale. Maybe it’s because I was younger?
Anyways, wrapping it up – recently me and my current partner have argued (well my side mostly) and I’ve been getting super stressed and frustrated. I have considered calling off our engagement because things are getting too stressful, repetitive and I feel like the issues we are having are slowly killing my feelings. After realising today that I thrive on the communication – I am left unsure on what to do.
Should I call the engagement off? Should I wait even longer and stick it out? These issues we’ve been having have been on and off for 3 years and sometimes I want to put myself first and leave. However I feel really guilty when I think about it because she’s done nothing wrong.
TLDR: What should I do about my engagement if I still am happy thinking about times with my ex and I realised I got better communication from an interaction with a stranger compared to my relationship.