Hi guys, I need some advice on my relationship with my girlfriend (22F). So I guess I’ll start with some background. I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year, but we have been very close friends since 3 years back. I recently graduated college (jobless) and she wants to move in together because her apartment contract is ending in August. Now she has been living with me for the past maybe 2 months in my small student apartment (that I have to move out of before fall).
After a visit to my hometown and getting the chance to hang out with my friends I feel very conflicted. I feel like I have missed so much. I have a lot of hobbies and aspirations that I don’t have time to pursue because of this relationship. She sucks up all my time as soon as she gets home from work. As a result of this, I feel kind of stuck in my relationship.
We have previously had issues we have had to deal with (A lot of her personal issues, dr*gs, depression etc). Now we are in a good place I think, which makes me feel more stuck. I love her of course but I feel like moving in together and starting a life together this.early makes me doubt the relationship a lot.
This is my first real relationship (not her first), and I feel like I haven’t had the chance to explore other possibilities. After that trip to my hometown I’ve been thinking of breaking up nonstop, and I feel a kind of burden when I hang around her now.
I also feel overwhelmed with life in general (starting to build my career, finding a new apartment, making time for hobbies and friends). She will probably go back to her old ways if I break up with her (substance ab*use, destructive coping etc), which makes me feel terrible. Can anyone give me some advice?
TLDR: Just graduated, confused about my life. Girlfriend wants to move in together but I’m not even sure i want to stay in the relationship.