Long story short: Met this girl on Duet, we moved to Instagram and talked daily for 4 months. The first 2–3 months, I wasn’t very consistent — she’d ask to hang out, call, etc., but I took hours to respond (3–6 hrs). She eventually ghosted me briefly because of that.
I felt bad, so we started going on dates the final two months. After the second one, she started becoming more distant. I asked if she was still interested — she said she was focused on work and her military career, but was down to stay friends. We kept talking, though the effort on her side started fading.
I invited her out again, and she first said she was getting sick, then said she had a trip — which raised doubts. Later, we had a call where she admitted she has trust issues from being cheated on 6 months ago. She said I was the second person to point out that she pulls away when things get closer. Then she said, “I think it’s better if we stop talking because I don’t want to keep confusing you.”
Oddly, later in that same call, she said she had stalked my Instagram, looked at my highlights, and asked about girls who follow me — even though she previously said we were “just talking” and this could become a situationship. So there were mixed signals.
We kept texting for two more days, but she’d take forever to reply (even though she used to hate when I did that). It gave me anxiety, so I posted a note saying “I’m over this” and ghosted her. I felt bad the same night and called her (no answer), so I posted a story apologizing, wishing her the best in her career, and said I never meant to hurt her. She replied: “Enjoy your weekend.”
A week later, I posted another note saying “Training will go great, wish you the best” — and she liked it.
Now I’m thinking about reaching out next month — just to clear the air or maybe be friends. But part of me thinks that might just reopen feelings or set me back emotionally.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Is it ever healthy to reach back out, even just to rebuild a friendship? Or is that just me holding on to false hope?
TL;DR Talked to a girl for 4 months. Early on I wasn’t very responsive, but she stuck around. When I finally got more interested, she started pulling away. She had trust issues from being cheated on, admitted she was confused, and said maybe we should stop talking — but kept acting jealous about other girls. I ended up ghosting her out of frustration, then apologized and wished her well. She replied briefly and later liked one of my notes. Now I’m thinking of messaging her next month just to be on good terms or rebuild a friendship — but I’m not sure if that’s healthy or just reopening emotional wounds.