Im a 22M dating a 22F and i recently broken up with my girlfriend of 7 years because her family didnt like me. One of the reasons is that we were sexting sometimes (send nudes etc.) and toh she did told me to stop at some point and my lust got the best of me and the sexting was found out by her sisters (23F & 22F) that made them hate me and her dad didn’t like my that much bcs my dad is a politician and had a few controversial moments in the past. I also was a bit problematic when i was 15 and that memory was practically glued to their heads and im not really the standard male that her family was expecting, I swear im trying to change for the better for her, a better appearance and im about to graduate and work for a really big company to be able to provide her, changing my habits and we really really loved each other, i really cant see myself being with anyone else but her so is theres really a way for us to get back tgt without the family barrier that we’re having?
Comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please message the mods
This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
think you are gonna like the guy fucking your daughter? anyways, live your life and be a good person. Thats all you can do. You cant please everyone, particularly ones that know you are banging their daughters, over and over, in uncomfortable places.
The ‘family barrier’ is hers to deal with. If she doesn’t have a problem with them interfering then you two were never going to work out. Sorry but you just stay on track with your goals and leave her alone. You will be okay but it’s gonna hurt like hell for a bit
“ her dad didn’t like my that much bcs my dad is a politician and had a few controversial moments in the past”
😳… Baron… is that you?! 😂
Lol… sorry…. totally kidding
On a more serious note, Hi! Have you met her dad and family? Were you ever invited over..? I’m wondering if they actually know you, or if their perception is based primarily on things they heard of you.
This should be her decision, not her parents. She’s an adult. And what you do sexually is also up to the both of you – not up to her parents… but I understand that they are very controlling and she doesn’t seem to stand up to them.
I think the first step on the way to independence would be for her to move out of her parents home… My feeling is that the only way this relationship will commence again and end up in a good place, is if she genuinely wants to be independent and makes an effort .. to spread her wings and “fly” (without her parents).
This ball is in her court. You can’t convince her or force her…
You have no reason to feel guilty. I don’t think sexting is “wrong”. You are two consenting adults and you’re in love and in a relationship.
It’s none of her parents business that you sexted. But she probably feels very shamed by her parents.. unfortunately… It is neither your fault nor hers.. and neither of you needs to feel guilty about what happened here.
I think the best thing you could suggest for her – is to see a therapist and talk about this whole situation with an objective person who can give her objective advice… I am positive that any psychologist would bring up “independence” and “moving out” as options to her…
Another thing you could try is to ask if she would agree to seeing a therapist together… but it might be more difficult to convince her of this, if her parents are being highly controlling.
In my opinion, she basically needs another person – like a psychologist – who is a professional and who can help her understand why the situation with her parents is an unhealthy dynamic… and secondly .. she needs to have the courage to move out and be independent.
And all you can do… I’m sorry to say… is… to be very patient. If you get pushy right now, things will only get worse 🫶