I feel like this is a very long and complicated story and i need some input. I’m going to start from the beginning and try my best to not give out to many personal details, I’ll change the names in the story of course. As for the transgirl in the story i will be refering to her as a gender neutral name through out the story so that it’s not too confusing.
To begin i want to say that i am from a european country where highschool begins the year you turn 16. You study specific programs that have all the normal classes and then some connected to the program, for example arts, music, nature or economics.
I came out as trans durring my first year of highschool and when my second year rolled around i was very publicly out even tho everyone knew my old name and it being the name in the attendance list. Durring my second year we also got a new teacher that was supposed to mentor our class, let’s call her Cindy. I am pretty sure she was 27 when we first met but i’m a little uncertain, she is definetly 10+ years older than me though. Cindys age was young enough for students to think that she was young and hip. This was in 2018.
This was also the year when lets call them Robin began at the school. Robin is a year younger than me and was cishet man at the time and studied a diffrent program than me but we were loosely friends through my at the time best friend (we are still very close). We meet at parties, discord servers and sometimes at school lunch.
In my third year i started finding out that Cindy had multiple times gone out drinking at the bar with her students that just turned 18 (legal drinking age). Mainly young men. At the time i thought it was really weird but i never took any action against it, with the logic that it was gross but not illegal. Besides i didn’t have any evidence that she had done anything that a person of authority would actually give any kind of negative concequenses for. At the time i was sure she had been walking on the line of what was illegal or not, just no evidence. The boys she was hanging out with outside of her job talked about it, it definetly happened but the degree is uncertain.
Third year was my last year and i was set to graduate spring 2020… We all know how that went… I was originally going to look for a low income job to work for a while after high school before deciding what to keep studying but due to the pandemic there where no jobs. I had to start studying and after a lot of thinking i settled on becomming a subject teacher for art and handicrafts.
My education went suprisingly well and so did my transition i had DS top surgery, saved eggs and began taking testosterone. At the same time i studied at university and after my 4 year long education i had a licence to teach my subject.
Robin and i saw eachother a small handfull of times durring this period only durring house parties that neither of us remember too well. At the time she had not come out and was still presenting as a cisgender male. I had through mutual friends some knowledge that Robin and Cindy where dating durring this period which i never liked. I always saw it as grooming and even more so due to my education to become a teacher. The power imbalance from both age and prevoiusly being teacher student never sat right with me. I think i complained about this to our mutual friend when it got brought up but she incisted that it wasn’t weird. I was a bit mad and pushy about it being bad but i never brought it up to the people in question.
Last year i got the licence and got a job. The school has kids from pre-school up to the end of middle school. I teach kids ages 8-16. To my horror i found out that Cindy also worked here, she is mentor for a class with kids between the ages 12-14. My alarm bells started emediately going off. I talked to my best friend from highschool about it and she said i was being overdramatic, that Cindy actually got stigmatised at her job at the last school and that things said about her there where not always true. I said that i was going to keep it civil and i have been.
Turns out that Cindy who i already know doesn’t like me, probably because i got my licence to teach before her (she was an unlicenced teacher until this or next month). I kind of think she doesn’t see me as as much of an adult that she is, which concidering the circumstances is so gross.
Cindy is also a bit transphobic but in a way where she is a bit sneaky about it. In my graduation cap she wrote my deadname, she knew my actual name from day 1. She also took it very poorly when Robin tried to bring up the subject before she came out. Cindy littrally made Robin go back into the closet.
In the begining of this year my best friend started introducing me to a friend of hers by a name i didn’t know. My friend started doing this online so i didn’t actually get to see her in person until last month. We 3 met up to hang out and that’s when i realised that robin had actually gone through a transition. We emidiatly clicked, i’m a person that generally has a lot stronger emotions than others so i got very attached to the idea of her very quickly. After we meet i wanted to ask her out. I waited about 2 weeks until we had meet and hung out as a friend group again. I knew she was single and i took my shot. I sent her a message asking if she wanted to go on a date and i got a very enthusiastic yes (yippie :D).
The date went extremly well, a lot better than i had expected. She wanted to come home to me after the date and i obliged, she stayed the night. We talked a lot, laughed and you can figure out the rest. I like her a lot and she has told me she feels the same. She wants to meet up more and i am over the moon about it. We will be talking more today and going on a date again in 2 days.
But this has put me in a weird dilemma. I haven’t brought up Cindys questionable actions with my boss, only that she was my old teacher. I would love some advice on what to do. If i tell my boss what do i say? Am i overreacting? Will this just cause a bunch of drama, should i just cut ties before i get too attached? I don’t want to cut ties with robin, i really like her, i might even dare to say that i love her. I had to write this out, i am a little afraid that i’ll explode otherwise. Very much just getting this of my chest.
Any input or thoughts about this will be helpful. I will try my best to respond but i am using this account only for this post/incident.
Thank you for reading, Love the podcast!!!
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I feel like this is a very long and complicated story and i need some input. I’m going to start from the beginning and try my best to not give out to many personal details, I’ll change the names in the story of course. As for the transgirl in the story i will be refering to her as a gender neutral name through out the story so that it’s not too confusing.
To begin i want to say that i am from a european country where highschool begins the year you turn 16. You study specific programs that have all the normal classes and then some connected to the program, for example arts, music, nature or economics.
I came out as trans durring my first year of highschool and when my second year rolled around i was very publicly out even tho everyone knew my old name and it being the name in the attendance list. Durring my second year we also got a new teacher that was supposed to mentor our class, let’s call her Cindy. I am pretty sure she was 27 when we first met but i’m a little uncertain, she is definetly 10+ years older than me though. Cindys age was young enough for students to think that she was young and hip. This was in 2018.
This was also the year when lets call them Robin began at the school. Robin is a year younger than me and was cishet man at the time and studied a diffrent program than me but we were loosely friends through my at the time best friend (we are still very close). We meet at parties, discord servers and sometimes at school lunch.
In my third year i started finding out that Cindy had multiple times gone out drinking at the bar with her students that just turned 18 (legal drinking age). Mainly young men. At the time i thought it was really weird but i never took any action against it, with the logic that it was gross but not illegal. Besides i didn’t have any evidence that she had done anything that a person of authority would actually give any kind of negative concequenses for. At the time i was sure she had been walking on the line of what was illegal or not, just no evidence. The boys she was hanging out with outside of her job talked about it, it definetly happened but the degree is uncertain.
Third year was my last year and i was set to graduate spring 2020… We all know how that went… I was originally going to look for a low income job to work for a while after high school before deciding what to keep studying but due to the pandemic there where no jobs. I had to start studying and after a lot of thinking i settled on becomming a subject teacher for art and handicrafts.
My education went suprisingly well and so did my transition i had DS top surgery, saved eggs and began taking testosterone. At the same time i studied at university and after my 4 year long education i had a licence to teach my subject.
Robin and i saw eachother a small handfull of times durring this period only durring house parties that neither of us remember too well. At the time she had not come out and was still presenting as a cisgender male. I had through mutual friends some knowledge that Robin and Cindy where dating durring this period which i never liked. I always saw it as grooming and even more so due to my education to become a teacher. The power imbalance from both age and prevoiusly being teacher student never sat right with me. I think i complained about this to our mutual friend when it got brought up but she incisted that it wasn’t weird. I was a bit mad and pushy about it being bad but i never brought it up to the people in question.
Last year i got the licence and got a job. The school has kids from pre-school up to the end of middle school. I teach kids ages 8-16. To my horror i found out that Cindy also worked here, she is mentor for a class with kids between the ages 12-14. My alarm bells started emediately going off. I talked to my best friend from highschool about it and she said i was being overdramatic, that Cindy actually got stigmatised at her job at the last school and that things said about her there where not always true. I said that i was going to keep it civil and i have been.
Turns out that Cindy who i already know doesn’t like me, probably because i got my licence to teach before her (she was an unlicenced teacher until this or next month). I kind of think she doesn’t see me as as much of an adult that she is, which concidering the circumstances is so gross.
Cindy is also a bit transphobic but in a way where she is a bit sneaky about it. In my graduation cap she wrote my deadname, she knew my actual name from day 1. She also took it very poorly when Robin tried to bring up the subject before she came out. Cindy littrally made Robin go back into the closet.
In the begining of this year my best friend started introducing me to a friend of hers by a name i didn’t know. My friend started doing this online so i didn’t actually get to see her in person until last month. We 3 met up to hang out and that’s when i realised that robin had actually gone through a transition. We emidiatly clicked, i’m a person that generally has a lot stronger emotions than others so i got very attached to the idea of her very quickly. After we meet i wanted to ask her out. I waited about 2 weeks until we had meet and hung out as a friend group again. I knew she was single and i took my shot. I sent her a message asking if she wanted to go on a date and i got a very enthusiastic yes (yippie :D).
The date went extremly well, a lot better than i had expected. She wanted to come home to me after the date and i obliged, she stayed the night. We talked a lot, laughed and you can figure out the rest. I like her a lot and she has told me she feels the same. She wants to meet up more and i am over the moon about it. We will be talking more today and going on a date again in 2 days.
But this has put me in a weird dilemma. I haven’t brought up Cindys questionable actions with my boss, only that she was my old teacher. I would love some advice on what to do. If i tell my boss what do i say? Am i overreacting? Will this just cause a bunch of drama, should i just cut ties before i get too attached? I don’t want to cut ties with robin, i really like her, i might even dare to say that i love her. I had to write this out, i am a little afraid that i’ll explode otherwise. Very much just getting this of my chest.
Any input or thoughts about this will be helpful. I will try my best to respond but i am using this account only for this post/incident.
Thank you for reading, Love the podcast!!!
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