For some context we have been going out for around 2 years and we have both always spoke very freely about the future and seeing each other in our future we broke up yesterday well went no contact and I’m broken. Basically started with he went on holiday and lied to me so we kinda fell out on Sunday but I didn’t break up with him. He on Monday promised me he would do anything to make it up to me and would wait for me to feel better about it all. He’s told me he can’t deal with his emotions properly while in the relationships and just isn’t himself and anytime we have even a small argument it leaves him gutted for days and he thinks he’s putting to much pressure on the relationship that when even a small thing goes wrong it leaves him gutted. So I drove through to his late on Thursday night and we were crying and his mum came in the room and she was saying she thinks we need to break up as we both aren’t happy so we ended up talking for hours hugging he’s telling me he loves me but needs to sort himself out as he can function properly in this relationship right now. When I got home I texted him on and we texted a bit back and forth and this was the last message he sent me before removing me on Snapchat to go no contact ‘I really appreciate everything you’ve said Chloe. I know you’ve meant everything you’ve said. And I have meant everything I’ve said. We just need this at this moment. I am genuinely sorry sorry for absolutely everything. Looking at it as a whole there’s things I would’ve done different. But in my head state just now I can see clearly. I really hope you can forgive me for all of this as it’s really difficult for me but I know it’s the right thing to do. I really wish you all the best and hope you smash these upcoming months . I do love you and only want the best for you even if that means being apart x’ in previous messages he was saying he loved me and calling me baby and didn’t want me to stop hugging him I’m just so confused like will we get back together after no contact because neither of us hate each other and love each or is that it? I also don’t know when I should contact him? I’m just so confused any help would be great thanks
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This is it. He’s trying to let you down easy but he is doing the right thing.
It was a fab, an you should be happy for that. Your husband will find you before Halloween. An this distance will all make sense to you. Sometimes you have to trust the universe and believe in yourself
He is getting some very important insight into how he shows up in relationships. Sounds like he has a good deal of unhealed attachment trauma from childhood that is causing his maladaptive ways of reacting. Emotional regulation and intelligence were not taught to him by his parents, as I am guessing yours either? (Usually find others with matching toxic shame). Working on his attachment trauma will make him a better partner but you’d need to work on yours as well.
Breaking up can be hard, even for the person doing the break up. It doesn’t mean you are going to get back together in the future. Love isn’t always enough and it doesn’t fix everything, especially if you two are immature, not compatible or if there are personal issues that need resolved.
Don’t contact him. Listen to what he’s saying.