I was dating a guy who was really obsessed with me (in a good way). He was extremely interested, and overall a green flag (not just in my opinion; people around me said the same). We were in a serious, exclusive relationship, although it was still in the early stages.
One day, he told me that he was going abroad and wanted to end the relationship when he moved (which would be in 6 months) because he couldn’t handle a long-distance relationship and didn’t want to hurt either of us by trying. He suggested that we stay together in a serious, committed relationship until then. At first, I agreed because I didn’t want to end things, but later I had doubts and decided to break up myself.
When we broke up, the feelings were still there – we both admitted it, and it ended on good terms. He left the door open, saying he would be waiting for me if I ever decided to come back and restart the relationship.
Does it make sense to go back and enjoy it while it lasts? Hard to say whether it will be worth it or if it will drive me insane.
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He’ll be gone in 6 months, if you both genuinely enjoy each other then go have fun and do fun shit together until he leaves.
It definitely does make sense to enjoy it while it lasts if that’s what you really want. Why not take it day by day and go from there.
I definitly wouldn’t recommend that, if he left the door open, you should close it. That feeling of “I could’ve, should’ve, would’ve” with an ex you want to stay friendly with is going to chip away at any future relationship you have. You should go back and put a definitive end to the relationship and provide both of you with some closure, otherwise you are BOTH probably going to wind up getting hurt.
That depends on you and what you want. If you just see this as casual with an end date it might be manageable. But otherwise I highly doubt it will be anything other than ripping yourself apart even further.
Go with him ¯_(ツ)_/¯
He’ll be gone in six months and basically had told you there is no future as he isn’t interested in long distance. Take it for what it’s worth and leave him dumped and move on. Can you handle doing what’s been suggested above? What kind of enjoyment might you partake in? If it goes far enough what happens if you end up pregnant? Concerned about what advice you might receive then.
Only you know if the pleasure will be worth the eventual pain. I would say go for it but that’s me. I think we grab onto joy when we can because the pain is always temporary. The memories are worth it as is the fun you’ll experience making those memories.
i mean. why would you? if yall were gonna break up the minute it became LDR, then why even bother?
Why would you wanna go back when you know what’s going to end in a few months? If you’re on good terms now just keep it that way and move on with your life.
Make it make sense, boy?
Why would you come back only for him ending it because of “no LDR”?
No, it doesn’t make sense at all.
I can’t see that a green flag guy either, sorry to say that.
And: it doesn’t matter, if HE keeps HIS door open.
He can hold it open until he’s blue in his face.
YOU closed YOUR door on YOUR end! And that is the important thing!
Block and move on. You are not his interlude filler girl.
Having come to the conclusion to better break up now must already have been pretty painful. No need to do that a second time over, eyh?
How long will he be abroad? Did he possibly leave the door open to reconcile when he gets back? I might consider that, if that’s an option, but I wouldn’t go back before he leaves in 6 months unless that’s the option. It will be too emotionally hard otherwise.
Q: how long will he be abroad? Is this a permanent move?
Only you can know what your heart can handle. If you don’t think you can protect your heart in a not-so-serious relationship for the next months, then don’t.
Is there a huge reason you can’t go with him? See if you can imagine that it being a good adventure, even if you guys broke up down the line.
If you can’t go, then don’t continue this. It’ll only hurt more later
Edit: that being said, he chose to dump you rather than have a ltr, so idk if he’s as serious about it in general
Don’t get pregnant.
It will suck now or it will suck later. Personally, you’ve already broken up, let it be the end now. A serious, committed relationship with an expiration date of him moving away is a farce.
it doesnt make sense one bit. if you were just a fling, then it’s another story, but a serious relationship? and he gives you a deadline for it to end? fuck that shit
Honestly there’s nothing wrong with a short term relationship IF that’s okay with both of you.
If you like the sex, go back and enjoy more of it before he leaves
No, not worth it. He told you clearly he would break up with you, why waste your time getting even closer to someone who is definitely going to leave you behind? Use your time to strengthen friendships, enjoy things you like, learn something new, or meet someone else. Any of those would give you a better emotional rate of return than giving your time to this relationship. Once it’s over it’s over.
Just pause it for 6 months and then when he comes back see what happens
You’re hurt now, how much more hurt will you be when he drops off the face of the planet in the next 6 months.
Young me (your age) would go for it
Old me (41) says why take yourself of the market if you’re looking for something long term.
Good luck
The longer you drag it the longer it’ll take to move on and find your person. You know it’s already over so don’t waste precious time.
I say live every day like it’s your last. If you enjoy being together, why not spend every day you can together? You never know what the future holds, what changes might happen, or if this really is your last day on earth. Why not just do what you want today, and let tomorrow figure itself out.
No, you’re just feeling insecure because you’re not used to being free anymore. Pick up your social life again. Do the project you put off. Live your own life.