I (23F) met this guy (24M) online. Seemed chill at first. Funny, decent looking, kinda introverted. We decided to meet for coffee, nothing serious.
First 15-20 minutes? Cool. Then it takes a sharp left.
Suddenly he’s unpacking his entire childhood trauma, past relationship scars, his “abandonment issues,” and how he’s “never met someone who made him feel this comfortable so fast.”
Mind you, we’ve known each other for maybe a week, and this is our first time meeting in person.
He keeps saying how rare this connection feels, how “safe” I make him feel, how maybe this is something “bigger than this.”
Meanwhile I’m just sipping my espresso thinking, sir I don’t even know your last name???
Didn’t argue or shut him down, just smiled, nodded, wrapped up the date politely, but never texted him again. Didn’t block him or anything, just went quiet. Ghosted in a sense.
Now one of our mutuals is saying I was cold and that ghosting someone after they were “vulnerable” is messed up. But I feel like if you trauma unload on a literal stranger and then project intimacy onto them, in the first meeting, that’s not my job to fix.
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You did right… he seems to be needing a therapist to unlock all of that… seems like not your responsibility somehow
Girl you did the right thing, first date is all about knowing about each other not trauma dumping 😭
I dont think you did anything wrong. Might have been more polite to explain you didnt want tp see him again rather than just ghosting him though.
You are correct. You went for what you thought was a first date. Not to be considered as someone’s therapist.
It’s definitely not your job, although I think ghosting someone is never a nice thing to do. At least tell the guy why.
It’s not showing vulnerability, you barely know this guy and he just use a date as a therapy session. You did well, you politely shortened that date, never texted back. You dodged a bullet
Coffee is a damn sight cheaper than a therapist. Results may vary.
You should let him know why at least even if you don’t know his last name ghosting is a pretty shitty thing to do