I’ve always been a crazy sleeper but it wasn’t until I moved in with my fiancée of three years that I found out that I sleep talk. For a while, sleep talking was all that there was. I’d try to sell her a cell phone (that’s what I do for work) ask her for potatoes, or inquiring about if she ate my feet. Then, months later, things started escalating. I’d yank her hair, grope her butt, or pet her head. I thought things ended there because she didn’t tell me about any sleep talking or grabbing, groping, or yanking. Turns out she just stopped telling me about them because she could tell I was getting stressed about it, and it’s true. I felt terrible because all these things I’ve been doing are things I’d never dream of doing while I’m awake.
We were out on a date yesterday and she admitted that I slapped her face while I was asleep. When she asked me why I did it, I said while still asleep, “I thought you were Zephyr.” Zephyr is my cat. (Please don’t take that seriously, I’d never harm my cat.) I almost started crying when she told me that. She could see how guilty I felt and she told me she was actually joking about the incident with her coworkers.
I have struggled with insomnia for the past eleven years and have to take an extremely low dosage of Clonidine to act as a sleep aid. Is this something my psychiatrist can help with? Or should I see my primary care physician? Does anyone have tips for how to handle this at home? We are currently unable to sleep in separate beds because her brother is using our guest bedroom. We also don’t have a separate bed.
TLDR; I want to stop hitting my fiancée while I’m asleep and need advice on how to do that.
Comments
I would do a sleep study. Your body is supposed to not let you move when asleep
You have a sleep disorder. You should see a sleep specialist or neurologist. From what I understand you can take medications as well as sleep in a special sleep sack that keeps you from actively moving too much.
Are you familiar with the comedian Mike Birbiglia? He wrote a whole book about his experience with a sleep disorder including the time he jumped out a second story window in his underwear. All is not lost! His stories are wild and he was able to find a treatment. He’s married and has a kid and lives a relatively normal life.
Good luck!
my fiancé accidentally hits me in his sleep. i know he doesn’t mean it. sometimes he’ll accidentally elbow me and when i say “ow” he’ll chuckle and i think it’s hilarious. maybe doing a sleep study is a good idea. either that or investing in some sort of sleep cocoon