I (23F) left my (32M) toxic relationship and I’m really struggling

I left my ex to protect myself and my son. I know deep down it was the right decision but I’m really struggling. I feel like he’s just moved on with his life while I’m still stuck feeling broken.

He’s sleeping around, doing whatever he wants, acting like nothing ever happened. Meanwhile I’m constantly thinking about him, checking my phone for a message, wondering what I did wrong. I spend hours on my phone every day, and it’s starting to affect the time I spend with my son. He’s still a baby and he needs me to be present but I feel like I’m spiralling.

Some of the things my ex said and did really messed me up. Especially around sex. He told me his exes were better in bed. He said pleasuring me was a chore. He compared me to other women and made me feel like I wasn’t enough. I know logically it says more about him than me, but emotionally it’s destroyed my confidence. I feel insecure and constantly compare myself to the girls he might be seeing now. I keep thinking, what if he’s getting everything he wanted from someone else now?

I tried so hard in that relationship. I loved him. I wanted a family. And now he gets to live his life while I’m left grieving something that clearly never meant as much to him as it did to me. It hurts so much that he seems fine and I feel so lost.

If you’ve been through something like this, how did you stop caring? How do you let go when it feels like they never even looked back?

TL;DR I left a toxic relationship to protect myself and my son, but I’m really struggling. My ex seems to have moved on easily while I’m stuck overthinking, feeling insecure, and constantly checking my phone. The things he said about sex and comparing me to other women really damaged my confidence. I just want to stop caring and start healing, but I feel so lost.