I [23F] and this guy [26M] started dating 3 weeks ago and things really started off super well. We met through mutual friends and are almost perfect for each other. He makes me laugh, conversation is so easy, and I feel like I can be completely myself around him. We have the same interests and our chemistry is so good – at the beginning he could just touch me and I melted.
But, I don’t find him physically attractive, and when we finally hooked up, I haven’t felt the desire to do it again. It wasn’t that the chemistry was gone, it was just the desire to take off our clothes that disappeared and I’ve even had a hard time kissing him sometimes. I still love spending time with him and talking and cuddling, but that one part is gone.
Sexual things are really important to me in relationships, and I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve felt like this. My friends are all telling me to leave, but I just love being around him so much and he makes me feel so safe and happy. Should I stay and see if anything changes, or do I leave to not hurt either of us more?
TL;DR; : Met the perfect guy with the same personality/interests and great chemistry, but lost physical attraction. Do I stay or go?
Comments
Let him go, he deserves to be with someone attracted to him. You guys are gonna have an issue with this lack of attraction years down the road and prob in marriage = dead bedroom. Don’t date someone you’re not attracted to.
There are a million good guys out there I promise
Sometimes sexual attraction grows as you bond as a couple. But there’s no guarantees. You alone can decide how important the sex is for you. You should definitely talk to him about this, and be honest. That way you might at least have a chance at an enduring friendship. These connections don’t come along every day.
He’s not the perfect guy for you.
And it would be cruel to hold onto him. He deserves someone who makes him feel wanted. Imagine how he’d feel if he found out how you feel. Even if he just began to suspect it, and wondered what was wrong with him.
you cant fake the spark. he deserves someone who is physically attracted to him. you deserve to feel the spark. he could be a great guy just not your great guy.
this discussion is supposed to be between you and him. try to have a positive discussion as to how to deal with this. wanna try something different? spice it up with some kind of play? idk. talk with him first