I 23f, think my 3 year relationship with my bf 27m, might be over, help please

This is probably gonna be a mess of a post, apologies in advance for the length and any mistakes, English isnt my native language. It might be jumbled but im trying to give the best picture of the situation i can.

So I 23f been with my bf 27m for about 3.5 years, living together for almost a year now. We met when i was 20 and had been at uni for almost 2 semesters, he lived on the other side of the country where i have some relatives. what was supposed to be a one night stand, became a relationship. If im being honest, i was reluctant to start a relationship, the distance and balancing school and work seemed like too much. I was also just not looking for a relationship, but he was sweet and it kind of snowballed.

It was great at first, but looking back we might have done some trauma dumping and therefore bonding. He told me of his struggles with his family and trauma from past girlfriends, one cheated and the other went from verbal abuse to physical. He struggles with mental health issues, and had an accident at 20 which gave him chronic pain. I have my own things, but have gone to therapy as needed and worked on myself. It was a lot of work, i sometimes felt like i was both his gf and therapist, but i wanted to help. We had some rough patches, but i was always facilitating and encouraging communication, which worked to an extent.

Now we’ve been living together, and it’s worse than ever. I dont think he realises how bad it’s gotten. I feel stuck. He moved across the country to move into my apartment, his family is no help, and now im having all this guilt. It feels like he’s stagnent. he used to say he wanted to go back to school, yet never did anything about it. he used to talk about starting a business, but hasnt done anything about it. he always claims that he’s gonna do things, yet it doesn’t happen unless i nag him. He was supposed to get a therapist when he got here, so that his mental health wouldn’t rely on me, yet he hasn’t. recently i had to set an 8 am alarm, to wake him up and make him call his doctor for a new inhaler. He lost his inhaler 2 years ago, never got around to getting a new one, despite having severer asthma, and has struggles and complained yet done nothing. This is an overall theme. He just doesn’t do anything. he works part time, yet doesn’t clean the apartment unless i ask him. i’ve tried chore charts, weekly changing chore charts, putting reminders on his phone, at this point its just easier to do it myself than deal with the nagging and disappointment of it still not getting done. I’m juggling getting an education, while working an emotionally and physically draining job (that i love but still), and then have to take on the mental load of out ‘household’. it feels like i’m his mother, maid, therapist and gf all in one, and im fucking exhausted. He never does anything horrible, if he did i could at least just leave. but it’s like death by a thousand cuts, constantly dealing with small things that ive already mentioned and tried to get him to help me with.

Im exhausted, ive worked so hard to make this work, to communicate and help him, yet nothing really changes. every single time he’s ‘fixed’ or changed a behaviour, something new happens instead. It feels like he’s giving me breadcrumbs of what i want, and i think he’s changed and it’ll get better, but then we end up back to square one. I love and care about him, which is what makes this so hard. ive communicated to the point of pure numbness, im so tired of trying to make a grown man take responsibility. im 23! im still in my first apartment, ive never lived with a bf, he’s tried all of this before, yet im the one who has to take charge?? i’m at my wits end, i know he loves me, but i just dont think thats enough anymore.
I just want to be happy with my life, with my home.

Any advice is appriciated, and let me know if you need more info