My girlfriend [21F] and I [23M] have been together for a year, and while we aren’t moving in together just yet, we’ve started talking about our future. I’m staying in my hometown area because I’m starting grad school at a local college. I mentioned that I really like where I live and wouldn’t mind staying here longer term.
However, my girlfriend has said she absolutely does not want to live in my area. She says it gives her anxiety and makes her feel trapped, and she’s told me she demands that we live in her hometown when we move in together eventually. I told her I don’t want to feel trapped either, and that this kind of demand makes me feel like she’s doing the very thing she’s afraid of—trapping me.
I never told her we have to live in my town—I only said it’s a place I like and would be open to. I even mentioned that in the future, as we get older and have more flexibility, we could try to find a compromise or somewhere we both feel good about. But she gets stressed even when I bring up liking my hometown, or don’t immediately agree to living in hers.
Any advice on how to navigate a situation like this would be helpful.
TL;DR My girlfriend [21F] insists we live in her hometown someday because my area makes her anxious.
Comments
You’ve been together for one year. The point of dating is to test drive whether you are compatible in the long term, and if she absolutely needs to live in her hometown, then that’s fine for her to have as a necessity but it likely means you two are not compatible.