My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years now. Our relationship is very healthy, but our sex life has been suffering recently. A couple of months ago, I jokingly said that she could “eat my sausage” if she was hungry. It’s a stupid joke, I know. She jokingly replied, “That’s not kosher” because she’s Jewish. I told her it was a “chicken sausage”, and we both laughed. She then repeated “Chicken Sausage!” like “Chicken Jockey!” from the Minecraft movie. We both laughed really hard, but now every time we are about to engage in anything sexual, she always shouts “Chicken Sausage!” in a Jack Black voice.
I know it’s silly, but it turns me off every time she says it. I’ve tried to tell her 3 or 4 times that it’s a little bit of a mood killer, but she doesn’t take my concerns seriously. Recently, I haven’t even wanted to engage in sex because I dread the inevitable “Chicken Sausage!”.
She’s definitely noticed, and she’s been very upset recently. She asked me if I still found her attractive. I told her, I do, but I haven’t been in the mood. It’s messed everything up because she doesn’t seem to buy that it’s just that stupid joke that’s turning me off, not her body.
How can I convince her?
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the next time she brings it up, just straight up tell her what you’ve been telling her and end it with “listen, i love you and you’re sexy but if you’re not gonna take this seriously don’t be mad that we aren’t having sex”
Tell her that it’s more a mood killer, that it’s a turn off. I’ve learned that some people swear by humor during sex. I’ve heard people say that sex shouldn’t be “sexy” and that’s sex should be “fun.” That thought process is alien to me, but then again, so is screaming chicken sausage during sex and being upset your partner stops.
It’s great that she’s playful.. you’ve got that going for you. She’s clear that the joke is getting old but understand that being intimate with someone you can also laugh with is a gift. This will pass.
If I was you I’d hit the reset button with her. Have a wild night with her tonight and get back to where you were.
Lmao I can see how it’s a major turn-off. If you’ve already mentioned it 3 or 4 times, maybe you need to mention it a 5th time, but in a serious conversation and like, assertively? Idk. She should have the maturity to understand why that’s gonna make you go limp.
Bless her heart
sometimes jokes are fine and keep the mood good. however, if you’ve told her it’s a turn off and she’s not listening? that sucks. tell her you wouldn’t lie about something like this & to test the theory, she needs to relax and chill make no jokes and it’ll go fine.
just show her this post dawg, or sit her down when sex isn’t on the table/about to happen and say “hey I need you to take me seriously. The chicken sausage joke was really funny and it’s a great inside joke but hearing it when we’re about to have sex is an instant mood killer for me. I love you so much and I want to make sure you understand that I’m so very attracted to you, but not Jack Black. Please stop making this joke because I very much miss being intimate with you”
Let’s reframe this a bit.
“Reddit, I’ve told my significant other that they’re doing something that makes me uncomfortable and they don’t believe me. What do I do?”
^ that’s your post in essence. It’s a communication issue, through and through.
It could be any number of things bothering you, and it would be an issue for her not to take it seriously.
You’re both young so it’s not entirely surprising that she doesn’t get it. I’d sit her down, separate from any initiation of intimacy, and explain to her that the joke is making you uncomfortable now, especially in this context, and that it’s ultimately hurtful that she doesn’t take it seriously and stop.
In relationships, you’ll always have to communicate about feelings, wants, and needs. Sometimes that means compromising, sometimes you get what you want, sometimes your partner gets what they want. It varies. Learning that and how to apply it and communicate healthy is key to success.
Fwiw, in this instance, my opinion is she should just stop. Being asked not to make a joke that bugs you before intimacy is a pretty reasonable ask, and I think it might be worth pointing out to her if the roles were reversed she’d be upset, too. It’s ultimately disrespectful of her.
Here’s to her understanding with a talk and not you being petty and doing it back (which I have found is the only way some people get it, but I’m not proud of having done it regardless.)
Good luck!
Edit: words are hard 🙂
Tell her “the joke is stuck in my head and is killing the mood for me. Can we try leaving that out in sexual moments so we can connect better?”
Tell her that every time she yells chicken jockey, you imagine her as a fat pig and it won’t escape your mind.
I promise she will stop saying it. I can’t promise that you’ll still be in a relationship though.
I think you gotta take some accountability at least tho that you initially started that running joke, however if she can’t genuinely listen to you after you say multiple times it turns you off, she doesn’t respect your feelings even if you did initiate the run on joke. Seems like she’s being playful, I’d maybe take a different approach in communication about this problem and just ask her to purely stop
So she’s upset that her repeated actions that you’ve asked her not to do have consequences? 🤣
Next time, she asks you if you dont find her attractive. Look her dead in the eye with all seriousness and say chicken sausage. Then, show her the cold shoulder. Let it sink in with her. If she ever says it, just stop and say you’ve got a headache and aren’t in the mood anymore.
If you dont want it, dont play along with it.
Bruh if that’s your biggest problem…. Consider yourself lucky and get over it
So you’ve told her, and I guess she ignore you. It’s killed your libido, she’s noticed, and she asked about it.. I mean, at that point, you just … tell her AGAIN. “I’m still totally into you, I just can’t handle any more “chicken sausage” jokes, it’s a mood killer.” That seems simple enough, no?
When she says, “Chicken sausage” in a Jack Black voice, immediately stop. Roll over and go to sleep, or leave the couch or wherever you are getting romantic. I mean, instantly stop! By continuing to try, you are sending a mixed message. Leaving her to come up with her own interpretation. Cause and effect!
Of all the things that haven’t happened, this is one of the things that hasn’t happened the most.
I would advise you to do a little better and be a little more creative next time.
It’s probably because she’s uncomfortable