I (24F) feel like my relationship with my boyfriend (24M) is sometimes one-sided, we’ve been together for 6 months now, been close friends before for over 3 years. He gets bored of me easily — and I can tell (he starts avoiding and ignoring me). When I sense that, I give him space and wait for him to reach out in a genuine way. But he doesn’t. Instead, he waits for me to start the conversation, even when it’s clear that I feel unwanted. I’ve talked to him about how we spend our time together, but instead of changing, he blames me for the distance. I hope he actually knows the real cause and stops blaming me. He wants space — I get that — but I just wish he would own it. I’m starting to feel like he’s not worried about us, just about how I see us.
I don’t know what to do with him. I have talked to him before about how I feel, but all I sense from him is defensiveness or blame-shifting. It’s strange because even when I’m only trying to express a feeling and not asking him to change anything, every time I share something, he complains about how uncomfortable my feelings make him. He says it limits the way he interacts with me
and makes him want to avoid me
TL;DR; :I feel like my boyfriend gets bored and distant, but instead of reaching out, he waits for me to start conversations. When I share how I feel, he gets defensive, blames me for the distance, and says my feelings make him uncomfortable and want to avoid me. I’m not sure how to handle this anymore.
Comments
Even if you’re incompatible or not, you had a problem, tried to communicate and he blamed you – not nice. I’d try to talk to him again, say exactly how you feel about it and how you feel when he blames you. If it happens again or nothing changes, I wouldn’t stick around on a relationship I’m not happy in.
Girl….that man doesn’t like you. My ex did the same near the end, but he was cheating then (didn’t know yet). I’m not saying he’s cheating, but why stay with him if he’s being like that? He doesn’t even take accountability and blames you. And ignores you??? If you stay and keep trying to make it work, you will stay sad. This is not normal or healthy.