Hello,
I’m feeling really lost and I need some advice. I’ve come to realize that I’m being toxic toward my boyfriend. I pick fights, I struggle to take responsibility for my actions, and I see how much I’m hurting him. He doesn’t deserve this—he’s such a sweet and caring person.
No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to fully change my behavior. I manage to control myself once, twice, maybe even three times… but I always end up falling back into the same toxic patterns—getting mad at him, blaming him, snapping for no reason. He never asked for this.
I love him so so so so much. Seeing the way I’m affecting him—draining his happiness and peace—is heartbreaking. I feel like I’m stealing his joy with my anger, my dishonesty, my overreactions, and my temper.
I’m going to therapy and actively working on my issues, but in the meantime, he’s still suffering because of me. And that kills me.
Please—if anyone has been through something similar, or has any advice—I’d be so grateful.
TL;DR: I love my boyfriend but I’m being toxic to him. I start fights, struggle to take accountability, and hurt him even though I don’t want to. I’m in therapy but he’s still suffering. I need advice on how to break this cycle and become a better partner.