I 25F and husband 25M thinking about staying together for the baby or getting an abortion

r/

I Well, I’m 25F I’m 10 weeks pregnant and my husband 25M and I are getting divorced. The thing is that our relationship is unfixable and before I was pregnant he didn’t want to try to fix this mess.
However, after he realized I was pregnant he told me he wanted to try to fix things for the baby (but just for the baby and that he didn’t care much about us being together or not)

I asked him why would he wanted to try things if for him was the same if we were together or not? And he was like “for the baby, to at least say we tried”

He has even offered me to live together (which I think is emotionally impossible because we’re just getting divorced) or go to live together after childbirth until the baby turns 3

I don’t know what to do. I’ve been thinking about abortion because I don’t see myself having a baby alone but keeping the baby and be tied to him for the rest of my life sounds terrible.

Comments

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  2. Unfair-Substance-133 Avatar

    Typically it’s not healthy for the kids when parents stay together for them. They can see and feel everything, no matter how much you try to hide it. Do you want them to grow up with an unhealthy relationship as their first example of a relationship? Or would you rather wait until the time is right to have a kid when you’ve found your person so your kid gets to see how theyre supposed to be treated? It will hurt them to see you miserable. If the relationship is beyond saving, its best not to waste each other’s time imo. You deserve to find your person and so does he

  3. Low-Agency2539 Avatar

    I wouldn’t factor in your husband in this decision 

    Think about what you want. Do you want this baby? Do you feel ready? Can you handle being a single mom? 

    Make your decision about what you want, not him 

  4. wishingforarainyday Avatar

    I would suggest looking at how your life would be realistically if you stayed with him and had a child. A child doesn’t deserve to be brought into a toxic environment. Choose peace.

  5. xno_name_girlx Avatar

    You should definitely get an abortion. Realistically you’ll be a single mom at best with the support of your ex at worst you’ll be doing it solo solo.

  6. QuirkyForever Avatar

    Please do not. Kid have a worse outcome when their parents “stay together for the kids”. The resentment, bickering, tension, etc will affect how they understand relationships.

  7. Away-Research4299 Avatar
  8. Raitoburinga Avatar

    Don’t get an abortion, if you don’t want to have the child then give full custody to him or at the least give it to an adoption center. The baby deserves its chance at life. If you two just got divorced I’d assume it was for very good reason, and I don’t think it’s fixable but having a child together can change everything and sometimes save a marriage but it’s unlikely it will result in anything but a bad house for that kid to grow up in. It’s best you two split I’d say, and don’t get an abortion. Best of luck to you and Godbless, stay strong.

  9. Karine_Xanaro Avatar

    You can have a baby later. Focus on you. On healing emotionally from your divorce. You can prepare to have a healthy family later.

  10. Sandpiper1701 Avatar

    Even if he didn’t get you pregnant on purpose, it’s still baby trapping if you want out of the marriage. He may want to be a dad, but he sure doesn’t want to be your husband.

  11. CatCharacter848 Avatar

    Please don’t put a child through this.

    Healthy parenting separately is possible. But staying together purely for the child will ruin their life.