I’m currently in a relationship with my lifelong crush, first a little bit of background, we used to “hangout” during middle school and high school until i entered a serious relationship that lasted 4 years, after that i had a situationship/relationship for almost a year and a week before i ended it me and my current boyfriend (ill call him joe) kissed, so i basically cheated, i know it was wrong and i regret it but that’s not the point.
The problem is that joe is so insecure about himself and that makes him be disrespectful, mean and rude towards me, at fist i justified him by thinking maybe its my fault cause he knows i cheated before but since we started dating ive been the best girlfriend (or so i think) i shared my location, tell him what i do, stopped talking or hangout with male friends, i dont go to clubs or parties, i dont accept new followers on insta or post selfies or anything that may upset him, im always trying to make him feel loved, im honestly doing my best to make him happy
Half of the time he is the best he’s sweet, he visits me (i live a little far), told me that he loves me and that im he’s everything and all sorts of sweet things and he’s thoughtful but the other half he’s constantly accusing me of talking to other guys, that i seek attention, he has called me a whore, cheater, gold digger multiple times, he’s always telling me to go back to my ex and to leave, and when i feel like i cant take it anymore and try to leave he starts saying that im leaving cause i never loved him that he’s to ugly for me, that im obviously talking to someone else and i usually cave for that but if i dont he starts saying “i dont know whats wrong with me” “i dont know why i say those things” once even told me to help him look for a therapist (he even took therapy like 3 weeks)
I feel like the highs are to high and the lows to low with him, im an anxious person and i could ignore him when he acts like that but i cant the only way i can its by stop caring but i don’t want that, our fights can last a week or more
So my question is, should i leave or if i love him should i stay until he changes (he has changed a little) or learn to deal with it?
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Backup of the post’s body: I’m currently in a relationship with my lifelong crush, first a little bit of background, we used to “hangout” during middle school and high school until i entered a serious relationship that lasted 4 years, after that i had a situationship/relationship for almost a year and a week before i ended it me and my current boyfriend (ill call him joe) kissed, so i basically cheated, i know it was wrong and i regret it but that’s not the point.
The problem is that joe is so insecure about himself and that makes him be disrespectful, mean and rude towards me, at fist i justified him by thinking maybe its my fault cause he knows i cheated before but since we started dating ive been the best girlfriend (or so i think) i shared my location, tell him what i do, stopped talking or hangout with male friends, i dont go to clubs or parties, i dont accept new followers on insta or post selfies or anything that may upset him, im always trying to make him feel loved, im honestly doing my best to make him happy
Half of the time he is the best he’s sweet, he visits me (i live a little far), told me that he loves me and that im he’s everything and all sorts of sweet things and he’s thoughtful but the other half he’s constantly accusing me of talking to other guys, that i seek attention, he has called me a whore, cheater, gold digger multiple times, he’s always telling me to go back to my ex and to leave, and when i feel like i cant take it anymore and try to leave he starts saying that im leaving cause i never loved him that he’s to ugly for me, that im obviously talking to someone else and i usually cave for that but if i dont he starts saying “i dont know whats wrong with me” “i dont know why i say those things” once even told me to help him look for a therapist (he even took therapy like 3 weeks)
I feel like the highs are to high and the lows to low with him, im an anxious person and i could ignore him when he acts like that but i cant the only way i can its by stop caring but i don’t want that, our fights can last a week or more
So my question is, should i leave or if i love him should i stay until he changes (he has changed a little) or learn to deal with it?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Tell him, “If you’d like this relationship to continue, you will go for therapy to deal with your insecurities, etc.