TLDR: my partner (25M) says that I (25F) “create problems” for him when he tells me anything, when I just give advice. I feel unsupported because he refuses to take accountability and responsibility.
I (25F) have been with my partner (25M) for 18 months. We’ve just moved in together. Lately, he has been saying that he isn’t going to tell me anything anymore because I “create problems”. He gave examples of this.
1) he was getting rid of an old sofa. The charity he was giving it to refused to take it because it didn’t have the correct fire certification. He told me he was going to chop it up and dump it somewhere. I told him that he cannot do that because it’s illegal. He should take it to the correct disposal facility, give it away or chop it up and put it by bins. I also told him that he should report where he bought it from, because they should not have sold it without the correct fire certification. (I was not physically present)
2) there was a dead swan in the river. I told him he should report this because it can be removed and they can ascertain why it died. (I was not physically present)
3) police visited our flat and told us to anonymously report if we saw a particular person – I think it’s related to domestic violence. That night, I was woken frightened by who I presume to be that person in a communal area of our complex making loud noises. I reported this to police. Later, he saw this individual. Told me about it and that he refused to phone the police. I told him he should phone because we have been asked to, there’s a reason they’ve asked. He refused still and told me that I can do it if I want to. I said that I didn’t think I should report it as I hadn’t seen anything, I can’t answer any questions they might have, and hours have passed – they are no longer there.
This has really upset me and I feel completely unsupported by my partner. I feel like I am doing everything – sorting all the bills, being a responsible person, while he just does as he likes. When I tell him this and tell him that he should report the individual above, he tells me that I just make problems for him and he won’t get involved. But, his inaction creates problems for me – it prevents police from dealing with it and now I’m scared in my own home after last night. He doesn’t seem to care. I brought this up to him and he said “how do I know that that happened?”. So he even doubts what I tell him…
Am I right to feel unsupported?