I (25f) have never been to my boyfriend’s (24m) house, don’t know precisely where it is. I’ve invited him to multiple friends houses, we currently rent together and whenever I have touched the topic of not knowing his house he gets very defensive and asks me to be the one thing he can keep for himself. I’ve just given up trying to get him to open up on that. I was talking about visiting my hometown for surgery and staying with my parents but because of all this I wouldn’t want him to come. He’s okay with that. I’m not. It’s just a topic I don’t know how to get over with and any advice is appreciated. What am I missing to understand? What am I not seeing?
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Yeah you’re not wrong to be weirded out. I’m assuming since you said you rent together you mean his home he grew up in with his parents? Have you met them? Or is he hiding them from you as well
I assume from the context you mean his family’s house, since you rent together.
Has he given you a reason? Maybe his parents are hoarders and he’s embarrassed about it. Maybe he doesn’t come from money so his childhood home is cramped, and he’s embarrassed about it. Maybe he just feels weird about it and there’s no real rhyme or reason.
I can think of a lot of reasons before getting to something like, “That’s where he meets his mistress,” or, “That’s where he keeps his meth lab.”
I’d try asking him for at least some explanation, but honestly it’s probably nothing to be concerned about.
You’re his side chick.
Enormous red flag.
Either you’re the side chick or his house is embarrassingly messy, enough for you to think twice about the relationship
His wife lives in the house. He can’t give you the address.
It’ll be something awful. If you must know, hire a PI and keep quiet about it forever.
If you rent together, doesn’t that mean he and you share the same house? Are you talking about his parents house? If so, then he is either ashamed of you or he is ashamed of his parents.
That’s super weird.
Honest people don’t get defensive. Liars don’t like being questioned.
Is he home after work everyday? Does he contact you while he’s at “work”? Does he work “out of town”?
My guess is that you aren’t the only woman in his life or he is embarrassed.
I bet he’s embarrassed about the house. Have you met his family? If so, have they never invited you over?
Look up his parents address through white pages by using their name and number if you can get it from his phone. If not just type in their names and state and you can still find them. Then drive by yourself and see what’s up.
You can put his name and number in white pages and find address associated with him. You may have to pay 5 bucks, but cheaper than a pi. And faster! Bam! Address and take a little drive. I would borrow. a friends car and wear my hair up in a cap or something if you want answers.
Probably where his wife lives.
Is he married (or has a live-in GF), and you’re the side piece?
Does he live with Mommy?
Does he live with his ex?
Does he live in a gross house?
Like I could keep going.
But yes, it’s weird. And him getting defensive tells me he is lying, and that would be the end of it.
The questions people ask in this sub make me feel saner than sane sometimes. A whole ass year and you haven’t cared til now that he considers his address as not a you problem?
Do you mean his family’s house?
This is very weird and he’s definitely hiding something. Normally in situations like this the guy’s already got a wife/girlfriend at home he doesn’t want you to know about. That or his house is a disgusting wreck and it’s bad enough he knows you’ll dump him over it.
I’d be pretty concerned about his other family.
Oh my gurd child he’s makin meth in there now for sure
I grew up poor. I never wanted friends to come over. Seems odd for an adult that you’ve been with for a year & a half
Start here and see what address his number comes back to. It’s free and fairly accurate most of the time.
https://www.usphonebook.com/
You “rent together”? Like, you live together? So you see his home everyday, it’s your home. I’m confused about what “his house” is?
He’s got a woman af home!!!!
a year and a half and never been to his house.
read that over and over until you figure it out. he’s married. or lives with another woman. or you aren’t a priority. point blank.
follow him, see where he lives. so you understand. then no drama, just dump him and block.
His wife lives there.
Need more context…. You rent together but he has a house?
Your post is not clear. Are you living together?
This is the biggest of red flags! A year and a half and you don’t know where he lives??? That’s not normal in ANY universe!
He either has a wife or a live in girlfriend.