i’ve got a tough situation on my hands. i 25f, went on vacation with my best friend 24m and his mom (60s?) we went out of our country to another and while there, long story short his mom offered me some coke.. i guess she gets it from the brother in the house (30s) who also lives at home with her. i did a little bit just wanting to try it out and trusting her, that was all fine.
when leaving our vacation yesterday, bff’s mom started acting very strange. she offered me some in the morning most of those days, which raised alarm bells for me. cup of coffee and some morning coke already isn’t really sending “casual” vacation vibes , knowing how addictive coke can be. on the drive home, after everything had been packed up so she couldn’t use any for a while, she started having intense stomach issues – cramps, cold/hot, etc, sweating. bff’s mom is also type 1 diabetic which makes me worry about her if she’s using a stimulant that affects appetite nd she needs insulin regularly and stuff (although not sure how dangerous this is, not super familiar with diabetes + coke)
we went to a country where you shouldn’t drink the tap water and mom is sorta trying to blame that for her episode yesterday, however i am also familiar with symptoms of withdrawal because my bf has substance abuse issues and while in recovery, i’ve been with him through all of it and know what he’s experienced.
i really don’t know if it’s my place to tell my friend that his mom might have an issue. i don’t want anything bad to happen to her, but don’t want to cause issues with my friend by telling him this and potentially really freaking him out (he doesn’t even smoke weed) and making him view his brother maybe negatively for supplying his mom with this as well.
i really just need advice on if it’s my place to bring it up, i’d do it gently without saying anything direct, we’ve sorta been talking about how weird yesterday was and how mom is just fine now (literally went out to a bar tonight) and i want to be like hey when bf was first withdrawing, it was similar, please watch out for your mom but again idk if i should just leave it bc she did tell me she wouldn’t want my friend to ever find out. how would you guys approach?
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Stop taking coke from her and mind your own business. It has nothing to do with you at all.
I would tell her. She didn’t swear you to secrecy. For all you know, she would have no problem with her son knowing. And she is putting her health at risk.
The only way an addict can learn to want help is by facing consequences. My mom nearly died of her addiction. My siblings and I had to watch it all. I say, tell your friend.
I would wait until you get home and then have a face to face. Text can go so wrong so easily.
i’m an ex addict. First of all, coke withdrawals are not like opiate withdrawals and don’t cause the same symptoms. also, she’s a grownup and it’s not your business.
You know the saying “not my monkey, not my circus “… that’s true but in this situation how would you feel if she overdosed and you didn’t say anything to your friend? I would say something to mom about telling your friend.. but it’s your choice because either way you have to deal with the consequences of saying or not saying anything.. I hope you make the right decision for you..
I would definitely tell your friend. Your loyalty should be with him, not his mom, and he deserves to know. If he ever found out this happened and didn’t tell him…he’d never trust you again. That would be a huge breach of trust and also strange and sleazy. Tell him and stop doing drugs! You are way too old to be doing drugs. Drugs are gross.