So I’ve been dating this amazing girl for the last 2 years. I love her, in the beginning she hadn’t had anyone yet, so I respect her space, after 2 months we started playing and stuff like that. But sex always ends after a few mins of penetration, with her saying it hurts her. There is no foreplay, no oral, doesn’t want me using my fingers, no sex talking, no flirting. She doesn’t want me to go down on her because she’s ashamed of it and uncomfortable which I always respected, but it’s starting to affect me hard.
I already asked her to go to a doctor to check if everything is alright she said she would go, more than a year ago, she never went. I do believe it hurts because she kinda feels uncomfortable, and gets tighter.
I’m starting to feel a bit lost in this relationship, sex life is a big thing for me, I love going down on someone and pleasuring them, but she just doesn’t want me, and it isn’t like she doesn’t like it, because I’ve done it 2 or 3 times and she loved it. I’ve always tried to make her comfortable and feel good about herself. I love her body and I compliment her regularly. I just don’t know what to do anymore. We also live a bit far away, so we see each other once a month or twice. But whenever we get together it isn’t like she jumps into my arms, or kiss me deeply. She prefers smooches. She also never made me cum, and doesn’t lets me do it to herself because she is afraid.
Break up? Or Make up? I’ve talked with her before about this countless times, nothing has changed.
Edit: not to mention I’ve been so pent up, I’ve created this acc to look at porn.
TLDR: Basically there is almost no sexual interaction between us. And when we’re away for a month, there is 0 because she doesn’t like sex tallking or anything
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Well no foreplay would be painful. But this sounds like a her issue not a you issue. If she won’t change this, then it’s time to move on. Porn isnt the right fix.
Maybe before just breaking up, have a sit down conversation with her about how important sexual intimacy is to you and how its becoming a deal breaker to not have that in your relationship often. Communicate to her how you feel about this and maybe there’s a chance, but you both have to be willing to make it work. Good luck to both of you
she probably has trauma issues. i’m a rape survivor and have the same issue with my boyfriend. thankfully my boyfriend is patient and understands, though.
Break up. It’s been two years. Your needs are not compatible and that is not your fault or hers. It does sound like she needs to either go to sex counseling or just accept a life as a mostly non-sexual person, likely both, but again it’s not necessarily her fault either.
It sucks, I’m sure she’s a great person, but that doesn’t mean you should be together forever. You need to decide if you can live like this forever, and it sounds like you can’t, and that’s ok, it’s good this relationship taught you something about yourself and what to look for in future relationships.
If you want a hail marry, you could tell her that you want her to get sex counseling or you’re going to break up. I don’t think ultimatums are very good, it’s honestly maybe not my best advice, but it might be the only way of communicating the reality of the situation to her, cause it sounds like you’ve tried every other way.
break up dude,compatibiltiy issues are genuine
Maybe she’s asexual. Kitna din porn dekh ke hilaogey. Just move
In a case like this, never assume it will get better. It sounds like she has both physical and psychological issues that need to be addressed. She’s already shown an unwillingness to try to solve this by seeing a doctor. Unless she does a 180 degree change, you probably should move on.
Yikes, you two are definitely very sexually incompatible, you should definitely break up. You should also suggest that if she is asexual, she should just date other asexual people. But definitely break up, there are too many issues here, this will never get better. You’re still very young, better for you to move on.
She’s just not the one bud I understand wanting to love a girl but staying will make you both miserable if she doesn’t change. Sex is one of many important aspects to a relationship. You deserve to feel both loved and satisfied.