My sister goes to university in the same city I work and went to university in and I occasionally help her out with some stuff, and in the process of this, I met some of her friends.
A couple days ago, this girl that I recognized as one of her friends liked me on Hinge. She was attractive, so I matched her back. We texted, set up a date, and ended up hooking up.
Yesterday I saw my sister again, and her friend was there, so we joked to each other that it was nice to see each other again. My sister asked what we meant, so her friend said we had hooked up.
My sister got pissed, both because I slept with her friend and because in her eyes, the age gap is ‘creepy’. She thinks I’m an AH and made it awkward by hooking up with her friend.
I don’t think it’s that serious, her friend is cute and liked me so why not.
Comments
YTA yeah you are too old for her
Fuck yeah you’re the asshole.
don’t listen to anyone here lol you’re fine you’re free to hook up with adults consensually
Someone at 19 is in a much different place of life than someone at 25. My fiance is 25 and I could not imagine my 19 year old self just getting into a relationship with him because our brains would be at different development milestones
You are not the asshole. All of these judgmental people. 6 years age difference? Who cares! She is over 18.
YTA. Age wasnt the issue but knowing it was your sisters friend was crossing the line
would you let your male friends in their mid 20’s sleep with your little sister?
YTA that’s gross. esp when your sister thinks so too.
The age gap isn’t illegal, but it’s weird when you’re in totally different life stages and she’s your sister’s close friend.
Its not illegal and you are not the asshole, a little uncanny? Maybe. Weird? Sure.
Asshole? Not really
That being said, i am also on the sisters side. I wouldn’t want my siblings together with my friends. So she has every right to be mad, as much as you have any right to sleep with whoever you want.
YTA – you are a 25 year old man sleeping with teenagers. Groomer and pervert
YTA for knowing it was her friend. NTA for the age gap. People on here like nothing more than infantilising adults
>25m/19f
Kind of gross.
NTA. Two consenting adults. Your sister finds it weird because it is her friend. That is all.
NTA but you are an asshole for other comments you’re making.
YTA simply because of the way you are replying to comments. This post has also attracted all the weirdos, so fucking gross
I met my wife when she was 19 and I was 25. It’s not creepy at all, people just love putting rules on other people and how they live their lives.
It’s kinda blech… I mean, there’s a lot of ground between 19 and 25… But idk if u r necessarily TA.
Don’t come to reddit for sound advice. Most of the kids from your generation are over-emotional and exert feminine traits, especially on this platform. That said, there is 0 wrong with 2 consenting people of age to have fun. Your sister will get over it. It won’t be the first or last time her friends hookup with someone she knows.
YTA for hooking up with your sisters friend. There is nothing wrong with the age gap but you violated your sisters trust in my opinion. It’s overstepping boundaries.
Why are you fucking a teenager knowing she’s your sisters friend? YTA. And a creepy one
This is so common that it surprises me that anyone would think it was in any way ass-o-holic.
You’re gross yeah.
I married my sister’s friend. She was always cool with it, just told me to be careful and not be an asshole. Age gap is bigger than this one.
It’s ok for your sister to be mad, it’s ok for you to see her friend/ex friend anyway
ESH- the friend knew who you were and banged you anyway. You knew it’d be awkward and banged her anyway. It’s strange yall banged to me, but I’m not into folk over 21 banging teenagers. The whole thing gives me ick.
Any reasonable person would have considered their siblings feelings before hooking up with one of their friends. If you had reason to believe your sister would be cool with it, that’s one thing, although it would have been nice to ask to verify.
Did you think she wouldn’t mind? Or did you really not give it much thought at all?
I’m going to lean towards YTA for, seemingly, not really thinking about your sister’s feelings.
As for the age gap, if this were an actual relationship I’d agree with her. A 6 year age difference, when she’s only 19, is a lot. That’s nearly 1/3 of her age. Since it was just a hookup, though, I wouldn’t think too much about it.
You seem to have formed a strong opinion on your own question already. Why even bother posting this? You only answer ‘fair enough’ to half of the answers and disagree with the other half
You are both adults.
My brother and I have the same age gap and it would’ve creeped me out at 19 if he slept with one of my friends. That being said, I don’t think you’re the only one to blame. Her friend also matched with you knowing exactly who you are. She’s a shitty friend and I think you could’ve been more mature about the situation and put yourself in your sister’s shoes. Imagine if it were your best friend and your sister.
Ain’t nothing wrong with “consensual sex” people are allowed to do as they please
Man, I don’t know why but some people take it as a sleight against them.
I too slept with my older sisters best friend, same age gap but in reverse, my sister being older than me, she was pissed. Tried to physically fight her best friend of 18 years over it?? I don’t understand why she wouldn’t be happy like you could.literally get your best friend to be your family but what ever. I don’t know mate, I don’t have the answers, ive spent a decade thinking about that and still can’t see why it was such a problem. NTA from me but sometimes its best to not shit where you eat I guess.
Leo does it and he’s like 50
If one of your friends smashes her?
Damn, the prudes came out in droves.
NTA: Age gap concerns are total bull shit. Two consenting adults can do what they want. As far as your sister is concerned, who is she to approve or disapprove of your relations? Are you going to text her before every hookup to make sure they weren’t friends in 3rd grade? What if you guys get together later? Are you going to let your sister get in the way?
Age gap isn’t weird, and her friend consented to it. Your sister doesnt own you or her friend. NTA
Your sister is having big feelings.
Just recognize you have a responsibility to be cool to the friend, more so than most you would date. No ghosting, no creeping, no hooking up in front of her.
Moosehatting is out of the question. No hamstering. As much as you may want to go for the old caramel umbrella you mustn’t. And for the love of god, no Joanna Gleasoning. Just use your head and it will all be fine.
I don’t think YTA but I mean it’s totally fair for your sister to not be a fan of you fucking her friends
NTA
People commenting saying YTA are morality fascists. Morality Karens. They act like their bloated sense of morality is what makes them right, and you’re disusting for not seeing things like them. God forbid two consenting adults that are 6 yrs apart decide to have sex.
Now, was it a bit weird to have sex with her friend? Sure, maybe, idk ask your sister. But think about it this way, your sister’s friend had sex with you too regardless of being friends with your sister. She even casually brought it up in front of her. That means she doesn’t see anything wrong with it. Disregard these commenters who are taking it upon themselves to be offended on behalf of your sister
Tell your sister, “Your friend is the one that searched me out and I’m not complaing.There is nothing wrong with our age gap and she might just end up as your sister in law.”
Half your age+7, so 19 is fair game for 25, if just barely. If she’s 19… and a half, I guess?
If you’re looking for a rule to follow, anyway.
Why is your hinge age range that low to begin with?
You did nothing wrong. You had consensual sex with an adult who is not even that far in terms of age with you. Don’t listen to what anyone else is saying.
Disregard her opinion entirely. Most women can’t stand to see the people around them happy and they’ll do anything to ensure it can’t happen. Your sister is mad that a thing happened that has nothing to do with her. That is the cardinal sin. Causing drama over something that doesn’t concern her makes her the center of it, which is what she wants. Ignore her opinion entirely.
You are 25 and slept with a freshman in college, you’re the asshole
Your sister has mental issues. You’re not the asshole at all. Your sister needs to step out of the brainwash matrix and all that are creepy. They’re not shit. It’s not even six years. Is she kidding? Sounds to me like your sister is a little jealous and may have other issues that are far more creepierthan a six year age gap in a hook up.
NTA, that age gap is not creepy, you’re both adults
Ur disgusting for sleeping with anyone under 21 at 25 imo but not an asshole ig. She’s right about the age gap but getting mad shouldn’t have been her reaction.
Half your age plus 7.
Age gap is no issue.
Did her friend lie about her age?
If not
where’s her criticism for her friend swiping right in a guy aged 25+?
where’s her criticism for her friend + tinder for even allowing a 19 yo to filter by age and allowing her to see nearby 25 year olds?
NAH
You and the friend are consenting adults and are free to hook up
Sis is free to feel weirded out by her brother and friend hooking up
NTA. You’re both adults, you both went into it knowing what you wanted. Your sister probably doesnt like that ita encroaching on her personal territory. She’ll get over it
You didn’t do anything wrong.
Nooo.. just sleep with whoever man. Ask stupid questions, get….
The rule is half your age +7 (rounding up) to not be creepy.
So yeah, you’re creepy. Especially if you knew her before she became legal.
NTA, 19 and 25 is perfectly in the realm of acceptable/not creepy
Nice
NTA
You guys connected via hinge. Went out and made an adult decision together. If someone bring in the age gap (GrOoMiNg!!!) literally not the case because you guys literally met via hinge and went out once. You didn’t groom to go out
I’m 5 years older than my wife. You’re good. She’s an adult that can make her own decisions as you are. Nta
It’s fine. You are both adults.
Dude, the girl CHOSE you! So all these simple people clutching their pearls regarding the “age gap” don’t have a leg to stand on. NTA
Was the sex good? Friends should want their friends to have good sex.
NTA. Both consenting adults.
age game is 6 apart, not that far out.
Half your age plus seven is the rule of thumb. You’re fine, NTA.
NAH
Sister needs to grow up a little more…
Nta. Age gap isnt even that bad.
NTA… your age isn’t an issue… she’s in university and over the age of consent (slightly older you might be hitting creeper status though lol)… it’s not like you guys just hooked up, you met on a dating app, went out and then hooked up… there’s nothing creepy about the situation other than your sisters reaction…
It’s weird because you fucked her friend, not because you are both college aged. I think she’s just annoyed that you fucked her friend, and doesn’t know how to express that
It’s not creepy. Date her friend if you want
NTA – but your sister is going to treat you differently going forward, and likely won’t let you meet her friends.
My sister is 3 years younger and we both hooked up with each other’s friends when we were younger. I remember being worried my sister would be mad one time. I really liked her friend and her and I were scared my sister would be upset and sort of didn’t go as crazy as we wanted to that night. Only to find out my sister was encouraging it. I on the other hand tried unsuccessfully to keep my friends away from her. Though there were no hard feelings.
I mean just don’t judge your sister or one of your friends if she sleeps with them. If she doesn’t, nothing to worry about.
Once you hit drinking age, don’t bother dating people under drinking age.
Six years is not a big age gap. She’s an adult. I’m 39, that would be creepy. For you it’s fine.
NTA. The age gap is borderline but it’s not outrageous. If the friend is ok with it then I don’t see the problem. I can also see why it would bother your sister but as long as you don’t work your way through all her friends it seems like not a big deal.
Your sister can feel how she wants to about it. But i dont think you did anything wrong. and 25/19 isnt that big an age gap.
Dude YTA. Don’t sleep with your sisters friends especially when your 25 and they ar 19. She has ever right to think your a creep and be pissed
Hooking up with the girl wasn’t the bad part, imo it was just a bit unnecessary and awkward to tell your sister about it
Your sister is being weird. NTA.
People normalizing this are a part of the problem.
I am just 18 months older than you at most, and I wouldn’t even go out on a date with a 19 year old. The maturity levels, the goals in mind, the bucket list, the spirituality (or lack thereof), the politics; virtually nothing is going to be aligned here. This isn’t even jumping into the morals conversation.
Honestly, I don’t think it’s weird. Or maybe I’m too GenZ. But I don’t understand why your sister is this offended. You both are consenting adults and it didn’t end in a bad way.
A little weird? Yes.
Her being annoyed? That’s fair.
But calling you an AH and being angry? I think it’s an overreaction.
She’s now gonna fuck one of your friends. NTA but if she’s out for revenge it’s gonna be awkward soon.
Nta flat out. You’re both adults age gap isnt massive i was 23 hooking up with a 45yo chick and 30 with a 22yo. It happens
YTA just because you did know she was your sister’s friend. That’s weird.