I have a friend that I’ve known for around 2 years. I had a feeling he was romantically interested in me but he never outright made a move so I thought it was okay to stay in contact. For the record, I was never interested in him. My fiancé knows him and I’ve told him that I feel like he has a small crush on me but he was fine with us staying friends. We are also classmates and he’s really smart so sometimes we study together at his apartment. Again, I’ve asked my fiancé permission and he’s always said it’s fine and he doesn’t mind.
Last night we were studying together and I remember I got really sleepy and I put my head down for a moment and fell asleep. I woke up in his bed naked and not feeling good. Really traumatizing. He said I woke up in the middle of the night and came to his bed and started making moves on him and stuff happened. I felt like vomiting because there’s no way that happened I don’t remember any of that happening and my body felt very sore and weird. I don’t wake up in the middle of night and start walking around. And I am not attracted to him in the least. I’m not trying to act as though he’s some villain with a whole medicine stash but I think he slipped me something.
My fiancé had texted me a bunch asking me why I was still at his place and he was getting upset. I just told him I accidentally fell asleep and I was on my way home now. Immediately left and when I got home I again told him I fell asleep and nothing bad happened and he was annoyed and said he can pick me up if I’m too tired to drive but I shouldn’t sleep at a random guys place. He started lecturing me a bit. I regret even going over at all.
I feel so disgusted and scared. I honestly have thought about whether he’d try something but I didn’t think he ever would and on top of that, he knows my fiancé. I always thought if anything happened to me, my fiancé would go over and end that guy. I would always tell people I’m engaged and show him because he’s kind of a scary looking guy. Like I thought this guy would never try anything. But now I’m worried about us. What if he doesn’t believe me? And what if that guy took pictures of me? He even texted me saying he has feelings for me and now he knows I feel the same so maybe we should try to get together and see how it goes. He is insane and delusional and I’m worried he’ll tell my fiancé something consensual happened. I just don’t know what to do.
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Go get a rape kit test and toxicology screening immediately, while the drugs would be in your system.
I am serious. Go right now because you are on a short timeline (like 12 – 48 hours from consumption), to gain proof and evidence of this before the drugs are out of your system.
Don’t even worry about your BF. If what happened happened, go get proof of it for conviction and file a police report with your screening results.
Go right now. Get off the internet. Go to the emergency or doctors. Get the tests and reports done before you do anything.
Go to the police immediately. Tell your fiance exactly what happened. You need to be supported. That man needs to be stopped. You can do this. And I’m so sorry that horrible human has treated you in such an abhorrent and abusive way. File a report and I know it will feel terrible but you really need to be checked for signs of rape.
Go to the police right now and get a blood test and a rape kit. Tell your fiance exactly what you just said here. He’s annoyed because he was worried about you. If he’s worth a damn as a human being he will help you through this. Go now! Do not wait
He roofied you, hon. Go to the hospital and get a blood test!!! Call the police!! You were raped, babe.
If your bf is an ass about this? dump him!! EDIT: Please note I say IF he’s ass about the rape.
GO NOW AND LET US KNOW WHEN YOU’RE IN THE ER!!!
do not shower. report this to the authorities immediately and have a rape kit done. you do not have to tell your boyfriend, or anyone, if you do not want to, but you really really should report this. while it’s not your responsibility, your “friend” will do this again, to you or someone else. it is disgusting what he did, and you should not feel ashamed or regretful. i’m so sorry you are going through this.
Go to the hospital right now and get a rape kit done. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
I think you should definitely tell your fiance. Unfortunately, if he doesn’t react well then you’ll discover he isn’t the one for you. But honestly I think he’ll be supportive to you because he trusts you enough to study alone at the apartment of a guy who has a crush on you. You should tell him. And go to a hospital immediately so they can test for any drugs he might have given you. I’m so sorry this happened to you, love. I wish you all the best and I hope you find support, comfort, guidance, peace, and justice.
[deleted]
Go to the e.r now
go to the hospital now for a toxicology screening and sexual assault kit
Honestly, if your BF leaves you because you were assaulted. That is a bullet dodged because he is not your ally and doesn’t view your assailant as the one who is rightfully at fault.
You are simply not at fault here.
You should prioritize your safety first. Consider documenting everything, messages, any physical evidence, and how you felt. It’s important to tell your fiancé honestly, focusing on the facts of what happened and your concerns, rather than worrying about his reaction. You may also want to contact the police or a sexual assault support service to report what happened and get guidance. Avoid being alone with this person and make sure you have trusted support around you.
Never would have allowed this to happen. You’d be gone I’m sorry but if there’s no roofie involved you’re out!
The longer you wait the worse it looks. Go to the police station and tell your fiancé.
Tell the fiance. Have him go with you to the hospital (if you are comfortable with that). Have a rape kit, toxicology, the whole nine completed AND contact the police. Report this.
Do not shower, go straight to the ER. Ask for a rape kit and tell them exactly what you wrote here.
Go to the hospital and have a rape kit done now and a blood panel. Report this to the police. If you do not he will rape another woman later.
lol cheater
Please keep us posted.
OP, you were drugged and raped. Get off reddit, tell your fiancé you need to go to the ER for a rape kit and drug screening. Now now.
So sorry that you experienced this; hospital for blood tests, rape kit, and police report. Get therapist help too.
It’s best if you can get blood test evidence and the rest of the rape kit. If you miss the blood test window many of the date rape drugs will leave a residue that can be detected in your hair.
I’m also on the side of reporting this and getting to an ER to get blood drawn for testing and get photos of any bruises, and call the police.
I’m not sure how much help your school will be initially, especially if this happened off campus. Once you get the blood test results and it shows the drug he used is when you can go to the school and get him kicked out.
You were likely raped. Lying to your boyfriend when you have just gone through something traumatic and are trying to make sense of things is totally understandable, but the longer you maintain the lie, the more likely it is that you lose all credibility with your boyfriend, who seems very supportive from what you’ve described.
Ummm the “friend” ruffied and raped you. Go to the hospital
It has been my experience both in personal and counseling arena that straight people are biologically drawn to each other. In friendships like this usually one likes the other and settles for a friendship. You are not real friends. With a fiance, I would have distanced myself and not spent alone time with him. Since you are not the one who likes him. You have to be honest with fiance, and hopes he over looks your lack of insight. You are a grown woman now, so now you know. If I were your fiance, I would not marry you.
Not because you knew, though I suspect you are not as innocent as you are posting, but because he didn’t like it and was trying to set a boundary that went over your head. You are not adult enough to manage a marriage, or have good judgement about how you handle yourself with men. I would not stay with you for those reasons.
I am sorry your friend behaved like that. It was not ok, and was date rape. It is a hard way to learn these lessons. I would get a counselor too. The date rape kit is important and I would go to the hospital and declare it from the start, so it is known you didn’t agree to this on any level.
Please go to the hospital and call the police. File a report. Get bloodwork done. Don’t let this creep get away with anything. Tell your fiance and have him go with you for support.
Go to the ER, call the police, and tell them everything and more about what you just wrote.
Do not shower. Tell your boyfriend/fiance to meet you there.
Tell your boyfriend and call the cop you were raped
Honestly you women who spends countless hours around your male friends who you know are in love with you shouldn’t complain when something happens. Stop leading them on and to the loser men: going after someone’s girl makes you the biggest loser around.
This is not about your fiancé. Focus on yourself, your health and getting the criminal guy that r@@@ped you arrested!
“Got sleepy so I put my head down.” OK, where? Im not buying this story and neither should your fiancé.
You need to go to a hospital immediately. He might have drugged you and rape you. I hope it’s not the case and you can end the friendship and move on with your life. Good luck!
You were raped! I’m so glad you are taking action!!! It’s so sad and heartbreaking!
You are not thinking straight …so listen carefully to the advice for you to get a rape kit and toxicology test immediately. You can do this. You need this info now and once you can think calmly, then you can decide next steps based on what the tests tell you.
You also need to slowly gear yourself up to telling your Bf what happened and let him know that you were too scared to say anything right away as you were not thinking straight. Maybe he can go with you for the tests if you tell him first but you decide when you want to. Just don’t keep it to yourself. You need someone to support you. Take care of yourself.
GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM RIGHT NOW TELL THEM YOU THINK YOU WERE DRUGGED AND THAT YOU WERE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED AND WANT A DRUG SCREEN AND RAPE KIT. RIGHT NOW DRIVE THERE RIGHT NOW.
Honey this is not your fault . You have nothing to feel ashamed about . Someone violated you . Your fiance sounds like a reasonable man who cares about you from how you described him . Don’t worry about him right now.
All you need to worry about is getting evidence and documentation of the fact that you were raped and protecting yourself from future harm .
Wow this is so sad. OP please get a rape kit done and tell your fiancée everything and tell them you need their support not their anger.
That dude was never y’all’s friend, he was just a predator waiting for an opportunity.
Please let us know what you find out!
If this just happened please go to the hospital. And make a police report to file a protection order. Then tell your partner what happened. If he doesn’t believe you, dump him and move somewhere the other guy can’t find you.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You’re not crazy.
I know people are throwing a lot at you right now, so take it one step at a time. The rape kit is the most important/immediate thing to deal with. Do that, and take it from there. If you can, get someone to go with you. If it’s too scary to talk to your fiance right now, then take someone else.
Updateme
You need to go to the police and press charges. You also need to get tested. Your fiancé needs to know the truth. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through.
Updateme
Go to the hospital and the police!
It sounds like he drugged you and raped you. Tell the truth to everyone including the police. If your fiancé is anything but supportive, TELL him that none of this is your fault and he needs to act accordingly.
Hi. Go to the ER. Explain that something non consensual happened and request a rape kit. ALSO request a drug test to check for any meds he may have slipped you. You don’t have to do anything with the information now, but if you decide that you want to report it later, you will be glad you got this information/testing done. Trust me. Please do this.