As the title says, we were at a weekend get-together with his group of friends. I am not that close to them, I met them maybe a few times and often feel uncomfortable around them and not part of the group.
One night we were having drinks and all of a sudden one of his best friends started talking about his foot fetish and after he got a little bit anxious about this he said “I am not the only one at this table having this fetish so don’t judge me” while starring at my boyfriend and I in a freaky way. From that point, all of them started to laugh and began the quest of finding who the other person was, and maybe 2 seconds later they were all staring at me and my boyfriend being excited and surprised, and laughing. This went for about 5 minutes until one of the girls said that it is not a big deal, a lot of people have it and the conversation ended there but everyone was acting weird for a short while after that and this was so immature.
I felt so ashamed and the way they laughed and looked at me with pity made me feel so uncomfortable. I didn’t even know what to say I was shocked this is happening so I said nothing and went to the bathroom to cry for a bit.
Don’t get me wrong, I have no issues with his fetish, we have a great time in bed and I love him a lot, but in that moment I felt so exposed and my privacy is important to me, none of us choose to share private details about our sex life and I felt violated, especially because I am not close to those people, we nearly know each other.
I tried talking to my bf about this but he just said that he thought that they already knew about his foot fetish ( even tho I could feel how uncomfortable he was at that moment) and that was it.
How do I speak to him about it? Since then I avoided spending time with his friends and I don’t know if I want to ever really be part of that group. It’s been one month and I still think about this constantly.
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The louder the laughs , the greater was the embarrassment. Bottom line, there have been more people there with unrequited love for foot than you!
Its really nothing to be ashamed about and at that moment it was just a topic for a good laugh and poking. As much as foot fetish is viewed as “gross”, I personally think there is nothing wrong about what others find attractive. Just make sure he knows he is not odd or weird, that his interests are completely normal, natural and valid.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is take your lumps and just move on with a smile (faked if needed). You didnt do anything wrong and people are more accepting then youd think alot of the time. Im sure they are thinking of it alot less than you are and we tend to be our own worst enemies. If they do keep brining it up repeatedly then yea sure then call them out and tell them “what you 2 do in your private time is no ones business but your own so id appreciate if you’d stop bringing it up”. Until they start turning it from an embarrassing moment into harassment though its probably best if you just try to let it go, just another one for the cringe bank to be withdrawn while you try too sleep a couple times a year.
Honestly you’re super overreacting it seems like his friends already knew and I highly doubt they care about your sex life