What would you do if your boyfriend expressed his frustration to his therapist about how there’s nothing to you? Because that’s what I heard mine said about me.
We met first year of college so at 18 years old. I’ve always been pretty antisocial and a homebody, I don’t have a ton of interests or crazy hobbies. I enjoy the occasional run, I like “bed-rotting” after a long day of work, I like to cook/bake, I like reading, and getting drinks after a long day. I have a super microscopic friend group. 🤷🏽♀️
He said there was nothing to me and everything I get interested in or want to do are because of internet trends, I do nothing but lay in bed all day (Sorry yall but after 50+ hours of work a week, I will enjoy my Saturday in bed!!) I occasionally like to take inspiration from social media, I like things that are cute and girly. If I see girlies online do something cute and fun, I’ll want to do it too. What’s wrong with that? He says I don’t have a personality and kept repeating that there was nothing to me. He’s said it to my face before so I guess I wasn’t shocked. More shocked that it bugged him enough to talk about to a third party.
I feel sad about it now though lol and maybe even embarrassed because am I really that painfully boring that it peeves him to the point of having to talk to a therapist about? Sure, I could “get out” more but sometimes I enjoy the peace of being alone and not always having something to do? I guess that does sound pretty pathetic though. Advice, comments, hate about how lame I am, etc- I’ll listen to it all 🤪
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I love someone for who they are not for not for who I want them to be. It doesn’t sound like you are compatible based on this. Perhaps your boyfriend will learn to appreciate you and your ways.
That’s very weird of him and clearly it seems like he doesn’t like you for who you are / what your hobbies are ?? You seem very normal and that’s totally ok to have the hobbies that you have !! Some people are more introverted. As long as you are happy, what you do is your business only. You should be with someone who is happy doing those things with you vs finding fault in what you enjoy. I think that’s a red flag of his and you deserve a better boyfriend . I personally would confront him and leave bc you deserve better
How did you hear his session with his therapist?
You are perfect
But the two of you are not perfect together
Love yourself fiercely
Begin your exit plan
Your post shows a level of candor that I find inspiring. You’ve got this. I believe you’ll be turning lemons into lemonade in no time! You are far more than he’s able to understand. It’s in your best interest to move on asap 🙂
That was a privileged convo so i think there is plenty to discount there. But you can def take somethings away from this. You want to grow and evolve with someone so if this is all you are and you don’t plan on growing, then you should probably leave. It could also be a sign that you need to show him the depth of the person you are so use it as motivation to make it happen!
Every AH has an opinion, doesn’t mean it’s true. You come to terms that your bf is a whiny little brat that doesn’t recognize a good thing when he has it. Or you end it and find someone that appreciates you.
Or petty approach… you start treating him likely a bi**h and tell him you’re working on a stronger personality.
Id spend my spare time in bed too if i worked 50+ hrs a week
You’re not lame. How can you be lame by being you?
What is lame is that your boyfriend can’t see that.
Introverts tend to be loyal, but this man doesn’t deserve your loyalty.
You should watch Too Much, new show on Netflix. There is an ex who sounds just like your boyfriend. It might be validating 🙂
Mostly though, fuck thus guy. These aren’t typical relationship complaints. He doesn’t respect you, and you sound lovely. Find a guy who loves your personality and your quirks. I can tell just from this post that you’ve got a good personality. Your bf might be a misogynist. Sounds like he just doesn’t like that you like what you like! It’s okay to be girly. You can find someone who appreciates you for who you are.
I know it hurts that he complained to his therapist about you. I think it comes from a place of he wants to find a way to connect with you over shared hobbies, and he may find it hard to connect with you while doing cutsey girlie things with you.
I just think he’s frustrated he can’t connect, not frustrated by who you are.
Maybe you two could brainstorm and make a list of three things you could try to do together, and see if that helps.