A few days after my birthday, I told him I felt uncomfortable because the birthday scarf he gave me had his name on it, not mine.
He immediately got upset and said things like I am the receiver not the giver, I shouldn’t even have this birthday gift, he said even I didn’t like it I shouldn’t say anything. Then he said he would never buy any gifts for me again.
He explained that he had spent two or three months choosing the gift, and that only Burberry allows more characters for personalization. But I told him that personalizing it with his name made me feel uncomfortable.
I said I understood his effort, but having his own name on it makes me feel pressured, constantly reminded that it’s his item. I told him it makes me feel like it’s not really mine. He said that’s my problem, and that I should be happy to see the name of someone I love.
He also told me that he has given gifts like this to other people before and nobody ever complained, unlike me.
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Ew, he’s acting super creepy. Trying to mark you so everyone knows who you belong to. Maybe you can ask if it’s possible to add your name to it so it says something like You + Him with a heart around it or something. That’s fair. But you still might not want a scarf that says that. To me it’s very adolescent, it’s what my most immature ex girlfriend wanted fro me. A bracelet a my name on it. I thought her request was super weird and really didn’t wanna do it but I did for her.
Your only potential error in all this is being too quick to start firing complaints to him. You colda taken time to appreciate it, wear it. Then say I really like it but why is your name on it? That might’ve gotten you a different reaction.
Can your wear it with the name pointing inwards and hiding? Do that
I bet this isn’t an isolated incident. Tell us more about the relationship. Is he being an a**hole to you in general?
Hes labelling his property. Thats the scarf AND you!
Its not normal to put YOUR name on gifts for other ppl. He is gaslighting you. Give it back and tell him its his and you dont care if other ppl are ok with it because YOU’RE not.
Tell him you’re ok with not receiving gifts from him. You will do the same.
Id honestly throw him out because of his behaviour.
Yeah I would be pissed if I spent the time trying to sort out a gift and my partner complained because it has my name on it. Why does it make you uncomfortable.
Some people tattoo their partners name on their body. I have my husband name on my wedding ring.
It does sound like a you problem.
I think his reaction seems fair for having a gift thrown back in his face.
Maybe you should have a really good thing about why it makes you uncomfortable, is it a sign of commitment you aren’t ready for. Do you not want other people to see your boyfriends name. Do you maybe feel like he is marking you as his in some way like named dog collar.
I’d regift it to him on his birthday. If he complains, tell him nobody’s ever complained about your gifts before.
That was a gift for himself, not for you, anyway. Might as well return to sender. I’m inclined to say the same about the man himself. His response is more concerning than the gift itself.
Your bf simply sucks. I hope the next one is better.
I’m finding having any name on a scarf a bit odd, but if I were giving somebody say a monographed gift, it would definitely be their initials not mine!
That said, I generally try not to complain about gifts and wonder if you could have brought it up more tactfully, maybe not as quickly. But I do think he made an error that needed to be pointed out, it’s very weird and I would say narcissistic to expect somebody to wear something with his name on.
Maybe it was a gift to mark you as his, maybe it really was a genuine gift done wrong, but his reaction is really telling on who he is when you don’t agree with him/are not grateful enough.
So no matter the intention, the outcome is what should get your attention
Educate on emotional control tactics. He’s dismissing, guilt tripping and DARVOing you.
That’s very weird. I would not stick around. It’s only 1 up from a dogs collar!!
Somebody gave him the scarf, now he’s regifting it to you?
Cheap and creepy. What a catch!
There was a post a few days earlier with the exact same situation. Are you telling me two women date the same dude with a stock of name branded scarves?
It was actually a gift to him from his Aunty
Not only is his reaction unreasonable him giving you a scarf with his name on it feels like he is trying to stamp you with his name to try to claim you as his. It does not feel like a gift for you but a gift for him. Everything about it feels off to me
This post was so creepy that my vagina actively tried to run away and hide behind me.
That is an insane gift from an insane man.
So he puts his name on many of the gifts he gives to people? That is bizarre, the only reason to do that is to make sure you can no longer wear it when you break up. He could have put both your initials on it, but instead wants everyone to know that “he” bought you a scarf. If he doesn’t think you deserve it, he’s welcome to wear it, I mean it already has his name on it.
I think it’s bizarre to have his monogram on your gift, period. What’s next? A tattoo or a brand? I’d give the gift back along with his walking papers. He can give it to the next girl.
Didn’t a lot of people say it looked like he regifted you a gift he probably got. Now he having a fit. 🚩🚩🚩. Did you tell him it looked like it was a regift? He clearly not understanding nobody want a gift with someone else name on it.
Also, wtf. If I wore a scarf with some random name on it that very obviously isn’t mine, ppl would assume I’m either wearing somebody else’s stuff or found it at goodwill lol.
He is a weird guy. Is the scarf unisex looking? Because the easiest explanation is he gave you a scarf someone gifted him before. And now he is acting really defensive to you calling him out. I cannot imagine any other reason why someone would do it.
If you gave him a backpack, or gloves, or the same scarf with your name as a gift, would he be happy? Or would he be annoyed that he, “John”, has to explain to everyone why he carries “Mary’s” backpack everywhere.
This is really weird of him. This is a kind of marking, possessive behavior but added to that he’s extremely sensitive and laying blame on you for his sensitivity. This would be a huge turn off for most people.