I 27F have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. I’m starting to realize that he or his family don’t invite me to functions. I find this extremely upsetting for a few reasons.
The first reason is because my family always makes it a point to invite him. He has been to my family’s graduations, funerals, reunions etc. Even when there’s a family night for the young people, he automatically gets an invite. My family always welcomes him like he’s an actual member. He’s in family photos and everyone expects him to just be there.
He and his family do not feel that way about me. I don’t automatically get an invite, it’s almost like I have to beg for an invite. I feel as if his family does not view me in the same manner my family views him.
I know I’m not entitled to an invite but this goes to my second reason.
The second reason I find this upsetting is because his cousin’s wife is usually invited. They’ve only known and been together for 2 years. Even before they got married she was always invited to family functions that I wasn’t.
This is not the only thing that is making me question if I want to be in this relationship.I just feel like sometimes he would step on me to please others.
I know he isn’t cheating, and he is a good boyfriend. But this situation is making me doubt our relationship.
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That’s no good its like his family is not inviting you for a reason. Do you see him as someone you would marry and does he see you in his future? What does he say about his family brushing you off?
Maybe he’s a good boyfriend? I don’t know. But this is a dealbreaker type stuff for me.
Honestly I would talk to him about it and tell him what’s going on/how it makes you feel. Is he not automatically bringing you when it’s been 6 years? My boyfriend would automatically come to everything, it’s not like you are a friend of his.
It’s 6 years later, and only now are you “starting to feel left out”?
” I’ve been thinking for some time, and I just dont see this relationship going any further, so I think it’s best we look at going separate ways.”
When he asks why, you just say ” I can’t envision spending the rest of my life with someone who treats me like they’re not their partner when their family is involved and I just dont want to continue down this path. “
What’s he said about the situation and why hasn’t he rectified it?
After 6 years if they don’t see you as family, they never will. And apparently your boyfriend is fine with that. If you stay with him, you have to accept that this is how it is. He doesn’t care if you are included and he doesn’t care if your feelings are hurt. I’m not sure why you consider this good boyfriend behavior. You also don’t know that he’s not cheating. He obviously has time away from you that he purposely excludes you from so it’s not crazy to think he may be doing things he doesn’t want you to know about.
He doesn’t sound like a good boyfriend if he doesn’t choose you. After six years of he isn’t choosing you, he never will.
Have you talked to him? I’m not saying this is ok to do, but is it possible that it’s because you’re not married? But that leads to the next question, why aren’t you married. And then, does he want to marry you? I’m sorry to say, but I think there’s some serious issues in this relationship and I suspect they aren’t the kind that can be resolved.
This feels like a dealbreaker. If he’s the perfect partner, sit him down and have a serious talk. There’s obviously a reason they’re not inviting you. What is it?
If you’re already on the fence about him, call this the straw that broke the camel’s back and call it quits.
You’re the gf not the wife. Maybe they don’t invite you because of this.
After 6 years you both should know if you want to spend the rest of your life together.