I have a great relationship with my partner – we have been through a lot together, including living together for over 4 years and buying a house together. We both have stable jobs, education and are comfortable – but both of us have struggled with our mental health for a long time and had to work through this together. I feel I am incredibly patient with his issues and always trying to help, just as he is with me.
I can’t imagine ever being with anyone else, but one thing in struggling with is with views towards marriage. I’ve always been quite ‘chilled’ especially in our early 20s, as we met so young we always just went along and thought we’d talk about the more serious stuff later. I would like to get engaged in the next year or so, but he jokes I’m being old fashioned and that we’re young etc. he does always say he wants to marry me and is thinking/planning it but I hate to feel like I’m nagging him, if just feels less romantic and embarrassing to be setting a time limit on him. I just feel he is immature not to grasp that at 27 that’s not a young age to get engaged.
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Honestly? Have this as a serious conversation, 8 years and nothing? It sounds insane! People get engaged within 1 year or less
Sounds like he doesn’t want to marry you. If he wanted to, he would. Right now he’s getting all the benefits of being married, without any of the responsibilities. Definitely don’t have a kid without being married, and especially don’t be a SAHM.
I’m sorry to say, but after 8 years of being together and he hasn’t propose yet. He isn’t going to. He is gaslighting you when he says that he does want to marry you but is thinking /planning.
I would break it off with him and find someone that has the same goals as you, but before you do, protect yourself. Seperate and delete all joint accounts. Be ready for love bombing and shift blaming.
Good luck and update me please
He doesn’t want to get married.