Me (27f) and my fiance (28M) have been together for 8 years. Our life in the bedroom has died in the last year or so and I thought it was my fault. However, today while I was scrolling to my mail I found out his got synced with mine. I found dozens of only fans subscriptions going back to the last 3 years of our relationship. I’m not really a purist when it comes to usage of adult material, but the amount of subscriptions really makes me feel ill. I thought maybe we needed to go on more dates or I had to dress more feminine but after this discovery I do not know what to do. I feel like all my thoughts of him not finding me attractive anymore was my insecurities but now I think I was correct. ¿How do I even begin a conversation? This is the only adult relationship i’ve been in and outside of what I discovered he is a good partner, he used to be my best friend before we started dating.
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“He’s a good partner” proceeds to describe the shittiest man on earth
Nah girl but fr, he was purposely hiding this from you for 3 years. It’s your first relationship so that’s why you feel so attached but you haven’t had good sex in a year and he doesn’t find you attractive?? Should have dumped a while ago. This guy does not respect you. You sure you wanna be with this guy for the rest of your life?
Well I would just say we need to talk then say, i need to call off our wedding, since I just discovered you are going to other people for sexual satisfaction, and I am not going to tolerate that from you, have a nice life.
Nothing is your fault in this OP. Don’t feel insecure. He sux. Dating and engaged to be married are two very different parts of life. He shouldn’t be doing this. You have all the right to ask him why. And don’t let him blame you because you are not the problem. He is.
That’s a shit ton of OF, and he never ran it by you over years. It’s a problem, and you gotta initiate the awkward conversation.
Babe when I checked the mail, I found out about all the OF subs you’ve gotten over the years. Let’s talk about it.
Of course you can’t marry a man who would hide such a disrespectful thing from you. For years! To add insult to injury, he’s giving all of his sexual attention and energy to other women, while neglecting you and your relationship. That’s crazy and so unhealthy. OF isn’t just porn, it’s connection and interaction. It’s cheating.
You’re only 27. Be glad you found out before you got trapped in a marriage with this man.
That would be it for me. Rather than pursuing you sexually in real life, he would rather pay other women for sexual images online. Yuck. Thats the ultimate slap in the face. This has nothing to do with you — it has everything to do with him.
Girl listen… unless yall explicitly had a conversation allowing that kind of thing… you need to leave him. The fact that he’s been hiding this from you for three out of 8 years isn’t okay. He doesn’t have any actual respect for you. If he says “I’ll unsubscribe” don’t believe him. He will hide it better and you’ll find it again. I should know 😅 I was with a guy who knew how to hide that he was cheating. He’d remove people off snap so I wouldn’t see and then add them back. He’d leave his phone inside and head to the apartment next door and have fun with them… I’m serious girl. He will only find ways to hide it better…