I (27M) met Jane (23F) in 2022 at an event but we were both in relationships at the time. We stayed in touch for the following years on social media until January of this year, where we reconnected in-person after both becoming single. It started simply by meeting at different coffee shops once every few weeks – my intent was a platonic friendship but I couldn’t help but notice how long we’d stay talking, often 2-3 hours at a time.
A couple months in, I mentioned an event I was going to that she expressed interest in where we’d stay ~4 days. I offered to split a hotel with her if she was comfortable and she agreed. Fast forward to May, I meet her there and we had an absolute blast together. It was on that trip that I realized this might be more than a platonic relationship, at least for me. Although nothing physical had happened, I couldn’t help but notice how easy our friendship was and how well we communicated & worked together. After that trip, we started talking every day – as meaningless as it sounds, we’d send each-other pictures of sunsets, she’d send me photos of her cats, funny Reels, TikToks and so on. We have a lot in common and always have stuff to talk about. We met about once a week for dinner which, again, was easy, peaceful & fun.
Last week, we took another trip to an event where we stayed together for 5 days. Again, we had a wonderful time but throughout this trip, I had been pulled aside by friends asking if Jane & I were a couple – admittedly, the way we interact & amount of time spent together made it look that way. Jane & I shared a room and would stay up every night until 1-2AM talking, picking-on each-other, telling stories, etc. We had a few bonding “moments” on this trip that really stuck out to me. Our chemistry seems undeniable but here’s where it gets tricky… we’ve completely ignored the elephant in the room. She isn’t one to ‘make a move’ or even talk about it openly; this is something she’s notably reserved about. I haven’t made it super clear how I feel, which isn’t helping anything. I’ve talked to a couple of her friends about the situation but they’re just as ‘in the dark.’ She doesn’t make flirty remarks but her actions and care around me make me wonder… I just hope I’m not misreading.
To make things more ambiguous, she’s mentioned being gay more than once, which, of course, I respect. She’s never been with another girl that I know of and isn’t actively pursuing one. Her last relationship was anything but “great” and I’m worried she’s written-off men as a whole (based on comments she’s made). Our friendship has become very special to me but I’m horribly afraid of damaging things by telling her how I feel. I understand that I can’t let this drag on forever, I just want to know where I stand. Should I tell her how I feel or wait for a clearer signal from her?
TL; DR – A friend (23F) & I (27M) reconnected after a few years but I quickly picked-up on our chemistry, which has turned into a crush. She’s gay but has only been with guys and none of which were good for her. We’ve been on two trips together, shared rooms but have barely hugged. So far we’ve completely ignored our situation and haven’t talked about it one bit – I’m scared that I’m misreading a friendship.