I have been with my boyfriend for over five years. We have lived together for three years and were friends for three years prior to dating.
Over the last year and half our communication skills have significantly declined. We argue about a lot of things that in the grand scheme of things don’t matter. We let fights get petty, sometimes we even yell. It’s tuned into this long pattern that we cannot seem to shake. We have tired writing things down that we want to work on but we continue to revert back to fighting. We don’t struggle with validating each others feelings rather more of not seeing each others perspectives. We are in the unique situation that we moved across the country from our friends and family three years ago. Arguments at times feel like they take up our day as we don’t get much separation times that you would typically get by having friends and family near by. It’s caused me to emotionally withdrawal.
We are both curious on what communication techniques or methods have worked for other couples? We are considering doing daily percentage check ins, along with dedicated debriefing check ins at night. We are open to hearing all options to rebuild our communication to what it once was.
Thank you all in advance
Comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please message the mods
This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.