A few months ago, I (28 F) let my cousin (26 M) borrow my car. He totaled it in an accident. The car still had a remaining balance, and while GAP insurance covered most of it, there was still an amount left that I had to pay.
After the accident, he went through an attorney and did “therapy” to build a personal injury case. He ended up receiving a $14,000 settlement. I asked for just $5,000, half to help cover the remaining loan balance, and the other half to help me since it was my car. He gave me $700. That’s it.
What hurts the most is that I’ve done SO much for him over the years. I taught him how to drive. I helped him get his license. When my family didn’t even want me to let him use my car, I still did it so he wouldn’t have to waste money on Ubers getting to work. I’ve always been there for him even before my aunt (his mom) passed away. We were raised in the same house all our lives. He’s like a brother to me.
So for him to treat me like this? It’s heartbreaking. And on top of that, he constantly blows money on video games and food. Every time he’s expected to get money, he says he’s finally going to get a car and then turns around and wastes it all. This was no different. And I cry every time I think about it because I always go out of my way for him. Always.
After he gave me that $700 and kept the rest, I blocked him. Then I found out he removed me from the family Apple group as if I’m the one in the wrong.
When I talked to my mom about it, her response was, “What do you want me to do, take it from him?” She said she told him to “do the right thing,” but that clearly didn’t mean much. No one really held him accountable, and I’ve felt completely unsupported.
Now the holidays are coming soon. It’s usually just me, my mom, him, and his sister. But I already know how this would go if I show up and don’t want to be social, they’ll say things to get under my skin until it turns into a full argument. I’d rather save myself the stress. I told my mom I will not be there for the holidays.
I’m planning to just volunteer on Thanksgiving, and maybe stay at a Christmas resort by myself. I just want peace.
Comments
How does he have an insurance payout for YOUR vehicle? Am I lost in thinking that’s not how it goes?
His reward from the accident was for personal damages and pain & suffering, your insurance payout was part of a civil case. While they may feel related they are two separate events. You should seek reimbursement from him for the difference between your cars value, the insurance payout, the gap insurance and the $700 he already paid. Write up the summary as a registered letter and send it, requesting payment within 30 days. When he does not pay take him to small claims court for the loss on your car. Small claims allows up to $5,000 in damages. You have all the documentation of your loss and small claims fees are reasonable, plus you can seek those fees in your damages. If you don’t try you won’t get paid.
Well, the holidays won’t come for another six months, so the good news is you have some time to figure this out.
Why would he still be invited though?