Hello I never thought I would post here., but here we go. We are together for 5 1/2 years and to be quiet honest it was an up and down from the start. But we kinda got trough it all. we moved in together around November and I must say she is a slop, she doesn’t pickup after herself, doesn’t clean anything or cooks. I tried multiple times to make her do anything without luck. now to the big problem she doesn’t shower like she should she is a bit more on the heavy side. Wich makes it really hard to be attracted to her. We didn’t have Sex for over half a year because i am so turned off. Around the time we moved in together her mom died and now she is dependent on me. Now my question what would you do reddit would you dump her or do you think I should stay with her?
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id say give her an ultimatum of her getting her shit together and make it clear you’re otherwise leaving. or just leave. you signed up for a partner not a toddler
Well you two are engaged, meaning when the day does come you need to vow to be with her through better and through worse. Most people today downplay the seriousness of marriage but in reality. You need to be with a woman who you can make these sacred vows too. If you don’t see yourself being able to do said thing then leave her now and gently because being with her would be disrespectful to her and yourself.
Edit: also worth mentioning if you CAN see yourself pulling through this with her and communication with her and trusting her then keep going brother.
have a heart to heart conversation with her about what’s going on, me and my ex were together for about the same time and yeah we’d say there’s a little problem but things would change for abit then slowly fall back. so have a serious convo mentioning you’re feelings are waivering and that it’s damaging the relationship.
If you’re “disgusted,” then you already have contempt for her, and trust me…she can feel that.
It also sounds like she’s grieving the loss of her mother. Lack of hygiene, gaining weight, and not being motivated sounds like depression.
Now, if you’re reading this and thinking “Those are excuses,” then just let her go. You don’t like her, and it you tolerating her isn’t the favor you think it is. It also sounds like she may need some help (professionally) tbh, and I hope she finds it.
No motivation to adult. No motivation to please you sexually. No motivation to lose weight. Bad hygiene. Do you really need to ask?