I recently started a new job a few days ago. (6 days ago to be exact)
I hit it off with most of my co-workers. One co-worker in particular seemed wicked shy and barely talked, but I could tell she wanted to, she just seemed anxious as hell
Another co-worker even said goodnight to her, and said “do you talk? I never hear you talk” and they’ve been working together for over a year, so I know her shyness wasnt just directed towards me
So I put in some effort, and eventually I found something that we both were interested in, and that was movies
Once I started talking about movies, she opened up a lot more.
I mention how I go to the theaters all the time, and she said she wished she did but doesn’t have any one to go with
Then I mentioned that I saw Weapons and it was fantastic, and she said she’s been really wanting to see it
So for some reason, in the moment, I said “I’m going to see again this weekend if you wanna tag along?” And she said “sure!” And seemed pretty enthusiastic about it
Part of me asked genuinely because she seems really cool and could be a great friend/co-worker. But I think part of me asked because I felt bad and she seems very anti-social
But I immediately knew I put myself in a bit of a pickle. Because I have a girlfriend, and idk if this co-worker interpreted this offer as a date or not
This conversation with the co-worker was the first real time we talked, and I never mentioned I had a girlfriend or that I was in a relationship.
Not that I hid it, it just didn’t come up organically and I didn’t find a spot to casually mention it.
I went home, and I told my girlfriend about this. And how I may have accidently put myself in a bind.
My girlfriend was understanding, and wasn’t upset with me. She doesn’t care if I have female friends, and she theoretically wouldn’t care if we hung out alone every now and then
But, since my girlfriend has not met this co-worker, she asked if she could go to the movies with us so she can meet her and feel her out. Which is all completely fine and understandable to me (I’d love if the two of them became friends as well)
But, idk how exactly to approach the co-worker about it
Idk if she interpreted my offer to hang out as a date. And if she did, how do I mention that “actually I have a gf, and she wants to come, and hahaha sorry pranked!” I’d feel like shit
But at the same time, maybe she interpreted it as just a friendly normal hangout?
I just need some advice. My biggest concern is hurting my co-worker and coming across like a liar. Which I’d hate, because she’s super sweet and doesn’t seem to socialize often
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Why not ask if its okay if your gf comes to the movies? Or make a comment like “its too bad my gf cant come because of x y z”
I think you’re totally overthinking it! Just mention to her that your girlfriend is going to join you, it’s not weird unless you make it weird
You got yourself into a mess. You like the new girl and you cant even find the break pedal. If the roles were reversed and your girlfriend was cheating, you would be highly upset. BTW, 3somes will always end up badly!
“Hey, excited to go to the movies. Just to let you clarify this is a friends-only meetup as I’ll be bringing my gf as well. Feel free to bring along a friend or partner!” there. Easy.
Frame it in a way that seems to be more targeted towards your coworker’s anxious side. “Hey, just as a heads up regarding the movie: My girlfriend is coming as well, is that cool with you? She’s really nice and would love to meet you.”
Basically just phrase it in a way that is more about ‘I noticed you are shy, are you okay with someone who’s a stranger to you coming as well?’ instead of a ‘It’s not a date’-thing.