Context: I (28 M) dated a woman (27 F), now ex, for a couple years long time ago. She lives in a neighbor country but her dad is a millionaire in a northern nuclear superpower country and don’t live with her and her mother. We have had no contacts whatsoever for >4years.
Yesterday evening, I received a video from my ex’s mother of said ex doing her wedding dance. Smoke machine, firework and stupid expensive stuff behind. Then, 4 hours latter she doubled up and sent me a text “[ex-name] is getting married”.
What on earth would you respond to her mother?
Also side question, I wonder if she sent to make me jealous, to share the positive news, out of spite (like see what you miss), or else? But I guess we can’t really know that.
*Small clarification since I see it in several comments. It’s quite unlikely she got the wrong adresse, since it was WhatsApp, with my picture, and sent the text 4 hours later. And somehow I can see her doing that.
*PS: it doesn’t really affect me, I care very little, don’t live in the same country.
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Weird behavior. Don’t engage.
“Congratulations to [ex], I hope they have many happy years together.”
Shows you’re over her and not petty, and gives them no ammo if they’re sharing the news to get a reaction out of you. If she’s sharing the news in good faith, then you’re being kind back.
Id block. She has no reason to contact you anyways.
Did you end this relationship on bad terms? Burn bridges?
It seems like her mother did this to show to you your loss, a bit of petty vengeance or mockery. Either way, since you moved on from this relationship already, just ignore it. Take it as an immature message and don’t respond. Don’t waste your time and breath, or else you bring this toxicity into your own life.
I would either ignore it or write back something along the lines of “Hello Ex’sMom, it’s nice to hear from you after all these years. Best wishes to her and her new husband.” She may have sent it to you on accident or just wanted you to know. This is gracious and is a subtle reminder in case she meant to send it to the other Bob in her phone instead of you.
>Also side question, I wonder if she sent to make me jealous, to share the positive news, out of spite (like see what you miss), or else? But I guess we can’t really know that.
Pretty sure we can. This came out of the blue and doubling down and all. I think she had one too many and weddings get people thinking about this kind of stuff, so she decided to have a little bit of a petty reaction.
You can either ignore her or send back:
“Oh wow that looks amazing, what a beautiful wedding! I’m so happy that she has found happiness! Send my best wishes to everyone”
Killing them with kindness works well in these situations.
Maybe your address/phone accidentally got into her mailing list. I’d respond with „I did not consent to receive spam”.
I wouldn’t respond at all
She was probably drunk. Just leave it.
“New phone, who dis?” 😀
She thinks the two of your are friends or she sent it to the wrong person. Either don’t respond or offer simple, traditional congratulations (whatever the cultural norm is if you have a shared religion or ethnicity)
I would just respond with ‘Nice’ and leave it at that and block her.
Don’t respond at all? Why is her mother still able to contact you, though?
A friend of mine ran into an ex one evening. I was the one who created the break, largely due to hanging wallpaper together (if ever you want to try a relationship, hang wallpaper together). He told my friend, “Be sure to tell her I survived after the breakup.”
Yeah, and I care…why?
“That’s nice for you”
Delete.
I would reply “Good luck to him.” And then block her
“That’s great news! I wish her many happy years with her new husband.”
I dont get what the millionaire dad in a northern nuclear superpower country has anything to do with this
lol. You’ve been living rent free in someone’s head.
“That’s fantastic, she looks happy, congratulations.”
Or
“Who dis?”
I’d assume ex MIL prefers you to current SIL and is hoping to get something started again.
It’s drama you don’t need and best ignored
I would say no need to reply or reply with felicitations. It may have been an accident, it may have been innocent, it may have been something else. Who knows. If it doesn’t bother you, then no response is really needed at all. You’ve moved on.
I had an former friend- not ex, never romantic, no sex, nothing on the side- legit platonic male friend from high school- have his sister call me on the day he got married after God knows how long it has been since we had last talked- to tell me he was getting married, that I had missed my chance and I would never find anyone better than him. He had once written me a love letter- which was signed anonymous at the time I received it; to which he confessed a few weeks later it was him. I told him I didn’t feel the same way and he stopped talking to me. After we graduated HS was when I got the phone call so I don’t remember the exact time frame. I literally just said “okay” to his sister on the phone because, why would I care at that point?
People do strange things some times and as long as it doesn’t affect you, keep going. Don’t worry about a reply 😉
If this is the only communication she’s had with you since the break up, I’d personally say:
“Oh nice, tell her congrats! Wish you and the family all the best.”
“That’s wonderful. Send my best wishes to the happy couple.”
And then move on. Either someone wants to make you jealous or is being spiteful. Either way, you don’t have to play along.
Simply “congratulations!”
“Congratulations! I do hope she didn’t make you send me this cause she still thinks of me, since it’s not mutual”
Embarrass her. Make her regret her immaturity and spite
Very weird. Just send a thumbs up emoji lol
I’d text back “Weird of you to text me this but alright…. Are you doing ok?”
“New phone. Who dis?”
My sympathies to the Groom.
There is no reason for you to respond.
Silence is the best answer.
Just thumbs up it then block her you don’t need the drama
Id send her a dick pick for being am asshole
Wish congratulations, wait a few days, then block. She’s in the past, the future is bright.
“Congrats”
I mean, what else is there to say? If you’re going to say anything, just say that.
Respond “Who is this”?
I don’t know if there is an option to send it to her entire address book, but if so, maybe it was that
I would ignore and then block.
She (or both of them )want a reaction. Just say congratulations and leave it at that. Then block
She’s officially someone else’s problem now.
Either a simple “Congratulations!” And then when she’s seen it block her or just straight up ignore and block.
“Congrats!” and move on. I fahe contacts you again, blovk. Obviously she has some unresolved issues
She was drunk. No response is necessary, and saying nothing is probably most appropriate here.
Probably she sent same messages selecting all contacts,
In her head, she thought you were going to marry her daughter. She’s tripping a bit.
The correct response is “Congratulations! _____ is beautiful as ever and I wish her all the best.”
Tell the x-Mother that she ( bride ) has told you a lot about the groom. Tell her you’re glad she took your advice to go on with marrying him .. And that she almost had you convinced to take her back, but you just couldn’t forgive her for the pregnancy termination
Whatever they want, ignore them
Not worth the drama
“Okay”
I would send just a simple YAY!!!!! 🎉🎈🎊🎉🎈🎈and let Mom wonder about why you’re celebrating. Lowkey be in her head as payback for thinking you care any more
Ignore it. There’s nothing to respond to and her reasons are irrelevant.
“Please pass along my congratulations.”
>What on earth would you respond to her mother?
I wouldn’t. I’d block that number and move on.
Ok 👍