Hey all,
I’ve recently started (March 2025) a relationship with a girl who at first seemed the absolute best person I’ve ever met. We were both unemployed and had the time of our lives. She was in a relationship when we met and we did start it all under a cloque of secrecy away from him. I wasn’t sure whether to go ahead with it all at the start, but I thought I would give it a chance. Since then, she has since managed to find a job (really genuinely happy for her) and has started working full time in the office. After that, her attitude has shifted so much and she has become more and more dismissive of me. It’s like I’m an afterthought in all her daily chores. She has started to spend more and more time each evening with her work colleagues and less and less excited to come home. I understand that she is with other people and that she should enjoy their company, but I am now getting to the point where I think she is lying to me about where and who she is with. I have caught her out once with a lie, and when I did, it was made out as if it was my fault for making her feel bad in the first place. Now I am being made to feel bad for asking when she is due home after a day’s drinking on a company golf day, despite her saying she would be leaving 4 hours earlier than when she originally said. I’m not usually like this at all, but the trust has evaporated recently. When I confronted her about it this eve, I was told that it basically was all my fault for being so controlling. I don’t want to be like that but I do just want to be treated with respect and to be thought of first and foremost. It’s clear that isn’t happening, and that she would rather be with these new people and prioritises her immediate position ahead of continued relationship stability with the two of us. I really want this relationship to work because I do love her massively, but I am at a loss as to how to make that happen.
Any help to keep her onside would be really welcomed.
Thanks
TLDR: My girlfriend spends more time drinking with work than caring about me in the evenings after work.