I (29M) fell for a girl (26F)

She told me she didn’t want anything serious. However, we were vulnerable and intimate with one another. She shared her insecurities and fears and trauma. She told me I made her feel safe. She cried with me a few times. We kissed and cuddled. One night she said she wanted to date and started telling me about her hobbies and things we would do together. The next day she said she just couldn’t do a relationship right now and that we shouldn’t hang out anymore. Then, after I agreed to not date, she would want to see me. At first it was dates and spending the night, but she gradually became a booty call on her insistence.

After a few push/pull cycles like this, she re-iterated that she couldn’t date but we could continue hooking up. I told her that I had feelings for her, I wanted to date her, and that I didn’t want to keep hooking up if it just meant eventual heartbreak for me. She agreed and I thought it was amicable. A few weeks later she tried to make me jealous. Even as I told her “We can’t do this anymore,” she told me it felt like I was pressuring her into a relationship. I said I wanted to see her more and she said “I’m nobody’s girlfriend” and explained that she didn’t want to be controlled.

I am having such a hard time getting over this girl. It wasn’t the relationship I wanted, but it was the person I wanted it with. I know that I need to do what’s best for myself and truly walk away, but I have a hard time abandoning that sliver of hope that this woman will come back to me. It’s making it difficult to see other people.

She is a CSA survivor and it seems like she blames herself. She was in back-to-back long term relationships for the past 7 years with losers. We were seeing each other for almost 3 months.

Did I make the right moves? What should I do? I don’t think I can do sex without emotions, at least not with this girl.

TL;DR – I fell in love with a girl with commitment issues and I chose to break it off rather than continue seeing her without a commitment.