TL;DR Girl (27F) I was seeing wanted to end things as she is too busy. How do I (30M) navigate?
I’m feeling pretty down right now because a girl I had been seeing wanted to stop talking due to feeling overwhelmed with various aspects of her life. She’s dealing with a lot right now – a heavy workload at her accounting firm, bridal party commitments, and is struggling with keeping her own mental health in check. With how busy she’s been with work and life she has been a bit more absent in our communication too; she feels super guilty that can’t give me and even when I did we’d work through it, she just doesn’t like how little she is providing right now.
She said this is the busiest she’s ever been and is just going through a lot. I believe her when she says that’s just how it is but it’s still hard. I told her I support her taking time to focus on her health and wellbeing but I’m legit hurt because I really thought we could’ve built something special.
Even though we weren’t official, she was the closest person I’ve gotten to since my last relationship. I’m feeling sad and lost; I feel like I have no control over my life.
I’m reaching out here for some advice on how to move forward and to connect with others who might be going through something similar.
Have any of you been in this situation where you had to end things due to being TOO busy / stressed with life? What was the outcome?
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> I’m reaching out here for some advice on how to move forward and to connect with others who might be going through something similar.
There are a couple of different breakup subs where you might find others going through what you are.
As for how to move forward: First mute her on your socials for a while so you can focus on living your life without constantly wondering if she’s made any life updates public. Then make a list of everything she disliked and everything she couldn’t do with you or never had the chance to do with you. What foods/music genres/movie genres/parts of town/kinds of people does she dislike. Make a real life list of these things, and start marking each on off your list and you start enjoying it.
Always bear in mind all this may be an excuse for breaking up. It’s isn’t guaranteed that this is the case but alas people find it easier to find excuses for breaking up, rather than simply say they don’t think it’s going to work out, especially for women because of some men’s potential reactions.
On the other side, it’s important to remember that when you decide to be in a significant relationship with someone that there arwe going to challenges and competition for time and you have to learn ways of dealing with it because it will probably be there, certainly until you retire.
It is probably true that when you’re treying to create a career for yourself that you may find yourself having to sacrifice time and effort that you won’t have to once you’ve established your career. Having said that there is no point either for just working for the sake of working if you’re not going to do something with it that is beneficial to you. Having said that too, there are people who prioritize their jobs or careersa for a number of different reasons.
You can point some of this out to her but it isn’t worth pushing too hard because unless she wants to be there voluntarily then there is no quality to the relationship. It’s important for you to know when to let go and start again, rather than try to force things.